Posts in couples counseling
50 Ideas for Valentine’s Day

          With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I wanted to offer you all some thoughts for how to share the day with your partner (if the two of you celebrate the holiday)! 

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The Volcano and The Turtle

Once upon a time, there was a Volcano and Turtle. No, this is not a kid’s story about speed or racing or pacing or how to get ahead. It’s a story about passion and composure. Intensity and calm. Eruption and shelter.

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Withholding Affection

Often, I work with couples who, by the time they find themselves in my office, have built a mountain of resentment towards one another.  I have found that one of the things that helps in being able to process their resentment and move forward from it, is to talk about how two opposing truths can exist within the same emotional space.  Meaning that: one can be disappointed and hurt by something their partner has said and/or done, and can also still love their partner (show them physical and emotional love). 

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Repair Attempts- A Predictor of Marriage Stability

On average most couples wait 6 years of feeling unhappy in the relationship before seeking help! By this time, negative conflict patterns have been established, and many couples look for the therapist to be a referee instead of a marriage therapist.

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Cultivating Intimacy without Sex

I want to talk about intimacy.  When someone mentions intimacy within a relationship, most people immediately think sexual intimacy.  However, intimacy is not just a sexual connection between partners.  Intimacy is the connection and closeness that is cultivated and expressed between partners regardless of setting. 

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The “perfect” number?

As someone who talks about sex with clients a lot, one of the infamous questions that I get time and again is: Is there a right number of times to have sex?” And, the answer, as frustrating as it may be, is that there is no right number of times to have sex with your partner!  No two couples are the same and thus, there is no correct number of times to have sex.  For some couples, it feels right to sexually connect 2 to 3 times a week, and for other couples it may be more or less.

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How to Avoid Defensiveness

The most exciting thing for me about the therapy process is that it acknowledges the human condition of imperfection. We are all human, and by being human, it means we come with flaws. By seeking therapy, you are acknowledging this human condition, while also seeking self-compassion and self-acceptance, but also having a desire to work on one’s self.

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Stop Fixing and Start Connecting

I’ve been sharing some of my thoughts as they pop up the past week or two on the Heights Family Counseling Twitter: “Relax, you don’t need all the answers all at once. You’ll get there with time. ~Amy- my own self-soothing thoughts today” or “Just breathe. Everything is going to be okay. You got this; you've survived 100 % of bad days before. ~Amy- because sometimes we need to hear what our brain doesn't always tell us!”

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Lasting ways to connect with your partner this Valentine’s Day!

As Valentine’s Day soon approaches, the National Retail Federation expects that holiday spending will exceed $18.2 billion for the United States.  This means that on average each individual will be spending around $135!  If you are anything like me, this seems like a whooping number, especially when you take into consideration that this is likely being spent by two people in a relationship – that’s a total of $270!  In light of this information, I wanted to share with you all some ways to connect with your partner that do not cost near this much money!

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The Magic Ratio for a Happy Marriage

If I said the words “magic ratio” or “5 to 1” would you instantly know what I was referring to? For most, the answer is no. However, us marriage counselors, this ratio means something important. In fact, it is a clue or formula to how to have a happy marriage/relationship.

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Resiliency- Discovering Our Strengths in Our Toughest Times

I open my back door after the World Series win to let my dog out, only to hear honking, excited yelling in the streets, and an overall feeling of ecstasy in the city. I smiled to myself and thought, “we did it!”

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How to Increase Emotional Intelligence in Your Child

Recent studies have shown that emotional intelligence can be almost as important as IQ in predicting a person’s success in life. The good news is that while traditional IQ it is thought to be consistent and stable throughout a person’s lifespan...

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