New Year, Same You (And Honestly, That’s a Good Thing)

Written by Julie Murillas , M.S, LPC- Associate

How to Set Resolutions Without Overwhelm – From a Therapist Who Has Also Abandoned a Gym Membership or Two

Every January, we’re hit with the same sparkly slogan: “New Year, New You!”
As if the clock strikes midnight and suddenly we transform into people who love meal prepping, have color-coded closets, and wake up at 5 a.m. “just because.”

Here’s the therapist truth: you don’t need a new you.
You need a supported you.
A rested you.
A “doing my best and that’s enough” you.

The problem isn’t your motivation. It’s that traditional resolutions are built on shame, urgency, and unrealistic expectations—three things that overwhelm the nervous system faster than you can say “vision board.”

Let’s talk about how to enter a new year without burning yourself out by week two.

Start With Curiosity, Not Criticism

Before you overhaul your entire life, slow down and check in. Ask yourself:

  • What actually matters to me this year?

  • How do I want to feel?

  • Where could I use more support or ease?

If you begin your resolutions with “I need to fix myself,” you’ve already set yourself up for pressure. Curiosity creates self-awareness; self-awareness creates sustainable change. Shame only creates short-term panic.

Shrink the Goal Until It Feels Embarrassingly Doable

If your resolution sounds impressive but also makes your stomach flip… it’s too big. Shrink it. Then shrink it again.

Examples:

  • “I’m going to run 5 miles every morning” becomes “I’ll move my body for 10 minutes.”

  • “I’m cutting all sugar forever” becomes “I’ll add one nourishing food to my day.”

  • “I’m becoming an organized person” becomes “I’ll put my keys in the same spot this week.”

People don’t fail because their goals are small. They fail because their goals are huge.

Small goals feel doable.
Doable goals get repeated.
Repeated actions create transformation.

Expect Resistance (It’s Not a Red Flag - It’s Biology)

When you introduce a new habit, your brain panics a little. It prefers familiarity—even if the familiar thing is procrastinating on the couch watching home renovation shows.

So expect:

  • Procrastination

  • Eye rolls

  • Annoyance

  • The sudden urge to clean your entire fridge instead of starting your goal

This resistance doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your brain is adjusting to something new. And adjusting takes time.

Use the “One Brick a Day” Method

Think of your goal like building a wall: one brick a day. Not the whole wall at once.
One brick might be:

  • Drinking a glass of water

  • Taking a five-minute walk

  • Answering one email

  • Cleaning one surface

  • Doing three deep breaths before opening your inbox

Tiny actions accumulate.
Tiny actions don’t overwhelm your nervous system.
Tiny actions are sustainable.

This is how real change happens—not through massive January overhauls, but through slow, steady layering.

Remember: January 1st Isn’t Your Boss

There is no magical power in January 1st.
You didn’t miss the boat.
You’re not “behind.”

Start on January 10th, February 2nd, or the first random Tuesday you remember what day it even is. Consistency doesn’t care what the calendar says.

Choose a Word for the Year If Resolutions Feel Like Too Much

Sometimes resolutions feel rigid. A word, however, feels spacious. Choose something like:

  • Ease

  • Boundaries

  • Nourish

  • Steady

  • Connection

  • Enough

A word acts like a gentle compass rather than a checklist. It guides your choices without overwhelming you.

New Year, Same You - But With Better Support

You don’t need to reinvent yourself. You don’t need to become a kale-eating morning-routine influencer. You simply need practices that care for the person you already are.

Progress is not linear. Motivation fluctuates. No one achieves their goals perfectly - and they don’t need to.

If you approach this year with compassion, curiosity, and small consistent steps, you’ll experience deeper, more sustainable change than any “New Year, New You” marketing campaign could ever promise.

Here’s to a gentler January.
A steadier year.
And the same you - finally supported the way you deserve.

Adult TherapyAmy RolloHeights Family Counseling