July Position of the Month from Our Sex Therapist

July Position of the Month: 69

When deciding on July’s sexual position of the month, I decided to highlight a sexual position that is friendly to all couples and can provide all involved parties with their own explosion of pleasure: 69.  When talking to couples about 69’ing they seem to be all for it or totally against it!  If you fall into the latter group, I encourage you to read through this blog post and consider giving 69 another shot!  Because not all people are open to oral sex, I do highly recommend discussing this sexual act with your partner first before attempting to initiate.  I would also recommend that if you or your partner are self-conscious about odor or cleanliness, taking a sensual shower together prior to this activity is an easy way to subside any anxiety. 

In order to 69 with your partner, one of you will choose to be laying down on a flat, soft surface (bed, floor, etc.).  This same partner might want to use a pillow to support their head, so that they do not strain their neck muscles during this activity.  The other partner will then straddle over the partner laying down.  The two of you will want to be genitals to face, so that you can each perform oral sex on one another.  That is essentially all there is to this position.  However, in order to get the most pleasure out of this experience, I would highly recommend the two of you having a conversation before or after regarding what felt good and what you would like your partner to do more of.  If this is something that you both feel comfortable communicating during the act, I highly encourage that, too.  Especially, if you are both open to positive feedback such as slowing down, speeding up, focusing more on one specific area, utilization of fingers and hands, etc.

The two of you might find that this position works out best if one of you is always on top and the other is always on bottom.  This might especially be the case if one of you have a large penis – this partner might want to try the lying down position first.   The partner that is on top typically has more control during this sexual activity, so being the lying down partner for someone with a larger penis would keep from accidentally forcing too much of yourself into your partner.  This also might help your partner to feel comfortable enough to try this position out.  Play around with the different positions and decide what feels and works best for you both!

This position can also be done with both couples laying on their sides.   Doing 69 while on your sides is a great alternative if neither of you do not feel like being on top and/or cannot physically support yourselves.  This might also be another option to consider if both partners have a rather large penises because neither of you will have to worry about who has more control during this sexual activity or shoving too much of yourself on your partner. 

I hope you and your sexual partner have a fun, exciting time trying out something new and/or revisiting an old friendly position!

Written by Katie Mitchell, M.A., CST-Candidate

Katie Mitchell is a counselor and Certified Sex Therapist-Candidate at Heights Family Counseling. She believes in using a solution-focused therapeutic approach to therapy, in order to empower clients to discover more effective solutions to their problems. Katie aims to foster a non-judgmental, accepting environment that helps clients to feel comfortable sharing their deepest thoughts and self-reflections. Katie enjoys working with a variety of clientele, such as individuals, couples, and families.  She also enjoys working with both individual and relational sexual concerns.  She understands that an active sex life is incredibly important for most individuals, especially those in a relationship. Learn more about Katie by visiting, https://heightsfamilycounseling.com/amy-rollo/, or learn more about our services at, https://heightsfamilycounseling.com/services/