September Position of the Month Blog from Our Sex Therapist: Handrail
Written by Katie Mitchell, M.A.
For September’s highlighted sexual position of the month, I thought I would share a position from a book that I recently purchased as a resource for clients. When clients mention that they struggle to spice up their sex lives or the positions that they use, I often recommend for them to purchase a picture book of positions to help initiate and/or lead the conversation. 365 Sex Positions: A new way every day for a steamy, erotic year (purchase here) is a great resource for couples wanting to spice things up sexually or who are wanting to take on a challenge. This book lives up to its title, offering a different position or variation of a position for each day of the year!
The Handrail (page 250 in the book above) is a great position for those moments when you and your partner want to sexually connect but are under a time crunch (quickie). As a heads up, any time you and your partner decide on a quickie, it is always super helpful to have lubricant on hand. Often times a quickie does not allow for enough time for a female partner to naturally lubricate, so avoid this frustration all together by preparing! The Handrail is a standing rear entry position which requires some manipulation of height so that both partners’ genitals are at matching (or near) matching heights. In order to do this, the partner being penetrated will stand next to and lean their hands on a surface of adequate height (possibly a counter top, table, or bed - depending on height), using the surface somewhat like a “handrail” for balance and support. This partner will also lift one of their legs on to the same surface as their hands for support, ease of access, and to help create similar heights. The penetrating partner will then enter their partner from behind; it might be necessary for this partner to bend their knees so that the two partners’ genitals can be similar heights. The penetrating partner can also hold on their partner’s hips for support, especially when thrusting. The rest of this position is making accommodations as either partner sees fit. For the partner being penetrated, this might be spreading their leg more or leaning more forward over the desired surface. For the penetrating partner this might look like bending your knees more to adjust for height or holding your partner’s hips to their body in a way that is more comfortable for both of you when thrusting.
If you and your partner are up for the challenge, I encourage you to buy a book like 365 Sex Positions: A new way every day for a steamy, erotic year and begin the conversation! If you and/or your partner are wanting to change up your shared sexual connection, but find it difficult to start this conversation, reach out to me at katiemitchell@heightsfamilycounseling.com. We can get the two of you scheduled for a sex therapy session and get this conversation started!