Burnout in Perimenopause & Menopause: Why You’re Not Lazy, You’re Fried

Written by Julie Murillas, M.S.

If you’re in your 40s or 50s and constantly exhausted, emotionally flatlined, or snapping at everyone in sight, you’re not broken—you might be burned out. And if you’re also navigating perimenopause or menopause, it can feel like the perfect (and perfectly unfair) storm.

As a therapist who works with high-functioning women, I often hear clients blame themselves for “not being able to handle it all” anymore. But burnout during this hormonal transition isn’t a weakness. It’s your body, mind, and nervous system waving a white flag, begging you to slow down and recalibrate.

What Burnout Looks Like in Perimenopause

The hormonal shifts of perimenopause and menopause (declining estrogen and progesterone, fluctuating cortisol) affect nearly every system in the body. Sleep, mood, energy, memory, and stress tolerance can all take a hit. Add in the demands of modern life—work deadlines, caregiving responsibilities, household management, and the invisible labor of making life run smoothly—and it’s no wonder so many women hit a wall.

Symptoms of burnout at this stage often include:

• Emotional exhaustion and irritability – feeling like you have no bandwidth left.

• Sleep disturbances – waking at 3 a.m. with racing thoughts or night sweats.

• Brain fog and forgetfulness – struggling to find words or remember details.

• Loss of motivation or purpose – even things you used to love can feel like a chore.

• A constant feeling of “I just can’t do this anymore.”

What makes this tricky is that women are used to powering through. We’ve been taught that self-sacrifice is strength, so burnout gets brushed off as weakness. But when your hormones, responsibilities, and nervous system collide, “pushing through” stops working. The solution isn’t to grit your teeth—it’s to pause, reset, and rewire.

Why It’s Not Laziness

This is where compassion is key. Burnout in perimenopause and menopause is not a sign of laziness or lack of willpower. It’s a physiological and psychological response to too much stress for too long without enough recovery. When estrogen dips, your brain has fewer natural protections against anxiety and stress. When progesterone drops, your natural calming buffer shrinks. Add in disrupted sleep, hot flashes, and pressure to keep up at work and at home, and your body literally cannot function the way it used to.

So no—you’re not lazy. You’re fried. And that’s not your fault.

Practical, Therapist-Approved Ways to Reclaim Yourself

You don’t need an overhaul to start feeling better. Small, intentional shifts add up.

1. Name It Without Shame
   Burnout isn’t failure. Labeling it accurately helps you release self-blame and recognize that something in your environment or expectations needs to change.

2. Treat Rest Like a Responsibility
   Think of rest as essential maintenance, not a luxury. Schedule micro-rest: three minutes of deep breathing, a short walk without your phone, or simply saying no to one extra task. True recovery doesn’t require a retreat—it requires consistent pauses.

3. Lower the Bar (Yes, Really)
   Perfectionism fuels burnout. Try adopting “good enough” as your mantra. Dinner doesn’t need to be gourmet, every email doesn’t need an immediate reply. Easing up on unrealistic standards creates room to breathe.

4. Track Your Cycle, Even in Perimenopause
   Hormones may be fluctuating unpredictably, but you can still notice patterns. Pay attention to when your energy dips or anxiety spikes. Planning around those times builds in self-compassion and prevents unnecessary self-criticism.

5. Talk It Out
   Burnout thrives in silence. Sharing your struggles—with a therapist, support group, or trusted friends—lightens the load. You’re not alone, and connection itself is healing.

The Bigger Picture: A Season of Transformation

Perimenopause and menopause are often framed as the end of something, but they are also the beginning of a new season. It can be a powerful time of reflection, boundary setting, and rediscovering who you are when you’re not in constant service to everyone else. That transformation doesn’t come from grinding yourself into the ground. It comes from listening to your body, softening where you can, and choosing yourself over hustle.

Final Thought

If you’re feeling burned out, start here: ask yourself, What would it look like to make space for myself today—even just a little bit? Maybe it’s saying no, maybe it’s a nap, maybe it’s five minutes of quiet.

You don’t need to prove your worth by running on empty. You’re not broken, and you’re not lazy. You’re experiencing burnout layered with the very real effects of perimenopause or menopause. With compassion, support, and intentional care, you can recover your energy and reclaim your life.📍 Serving clients in Houston and San Antonio
💬 Schedule an appointment today at heightsfamilycounseling.com