Getting to Know HFC! - Helena Lorenz, LCSW
Getting to Know HFC! - Helena Lorenz, LCSW
What led you to becoming a therapist?
For most of my life, I wanted to be a doctor. I always enjoyed academics and I wanted to help people for a living, and so medicine seemed like the most obvious track for my ambitions. Then, one summer in college, I interned at a pediatrician's office and got a firsthand look of what my dream life would be like as a family physician. Aaaand I hated it. Because of the managed care model of medicine, the doctor I was shadowing got a max of 15 minutes per patient. His day was filled to the brim with all manner of intimate concerns, and he had no time to be thorough with any of them. Moreover, because there wasn't any time in the packed schedule to document after appointments, he would have to sit and stare at his laptop while the patients poured their hearts out and he clicked away, filling out his forms while they talked. It all felt so cold and removed from the work of actually caring for people, and I knew I was working with an excellent physician who was loved by his patients. I trust that he would not have been practicing medicine this way if it wasn't deemed a necessity of our broken medical system. After my internship, I started chatting with my mentor at school about how disheartening the experience was, and she recommended I look into clinical social work as a way of finding a new path to helping others. I myself had been in therapy for several years at that point and was well aware of how wonderfully powerful it could be. I left my pre-med courses (thank god, organic chemistry was killing me anyway) and swapped researching med schools for researching social work grad programs. It was the best decision I ever made for myself.
What is your favorite part about your work?
Is it cheesy to say everything? I truly love my job so much. I appreciate the intimate space that I get to occupy with people who I ordinarily might never cross paths with in life outside of session. Every kind of person is able to come into the therapy room, and I get to play such a special role in their lives because I have no history and no agenda with them. I want absolutely nothing for my clients that they don't want for themselves, and that makes for such a unique relationship because people are able to be their truest selves without fear of hurt, shame, judgement, or negative external consequence. I love being a vehicle that helps people become the most fulfilled, value-driven version of themselves.
What do you think people would find most surprising about your job?
It is a little bit weird to have a job that you can't really talk about when you get home! I take my clients' confidentiality and privacy very seriously, and so I don't really discuss anything about my day with my loved ones after work. Keeping this boundary also helps me sustain my profession, which can be emotionally draining at times. I have to be able to draw a healthy line between my time with my clients and my time with my family and friends. When I get home, I give my partner an update on how I'm feeling that day ("Today was a really great day, I had a lot of wins with my clients" or "Today was really rough, I'm gonna need a hug") and that's pretty much it. Sometimes it feels like I have some sort of covert spy job lol.
What are some important themes that tend to come up in your sessions?
I think one theme that tends to emerge a lot in therapy is a feeling of loneliness and a desire for community. Our culture's lack of collectivity and increased isolationism has been long analyzed by people much smarter than myself, and I could link to dozens of articles here that discuss why so many of us are finding ourselves to be lonelier than ever. But the big why is not really the purview of my job. I'm here to help people navigate the very real effects of isolation in their daily lives, where they are longing for a sense of community support and belonging. I view part of my work as helping people find their village and feel more comfortable experiencing intimacy and closeness with others.
What is one thing you would tell someone who is about to start therapy for the first time?
All emotions are welcome in the therapy room. Truly. All of 'em. There is not a single emotion that is bad or will be judged in this space. I have so many clients who will apologize if they cry in session or show any strong, outward emotion, and I always say that the apology is not necessary. We are here in therapy to learn how to safely be honest with ourselves and with others, and if grief or rage or disappointment is what feels honest in that moment, let's let it out! To quote to incomparable Mr. Rogers, anything mentionable is manageable. So let's mention it, get it out in the open, and then we can figure out what to do about it.