In Defense of Introverts
By: Helena Lorenz, LMSW
I grew up as an incredibly shy and quiet child. I was perfectly fine playing by myself and getting lost in my own imagination. And when I wanted to spend time with friends or family, I was much happier in the role of listener rather than storyteller. This never really struck me as an issue until I started to get older and advance througschool, and my calm, reservedness seemed to become some sort of negative quality about me. I never struggled with having friends or with doing well in school, but somehow it became a knock against me that I wasn’t as outgoing or gregarious as some of my peers. Having a family who excelled in the performing arts, it was seen as strange/borderline unacceptable that I preferred to sit back and observe rather than have any sort of light shine on me.
Looking back on my grade school years now, I have the wisdom and clinical knowledge to realize that my situation was a genuine blend of undiagnosed anxiety and just being an introverted person. It took me time and dedication to change my internal narratives and build up my communication skills so that I could address my social anxiety. I learned how to assert myself when necessary and how to trust my voice. I now know when I have something valuable to share with others, and that’s a beautiful thing.
It has weirdly taken me even longer to learn and internalize that my introversion is actually not anything I need to fix, and that I don’t need to magic myself into being an extrovert in order to manage my anxiety. There’s nothing wrong with needing alone time. There’s nothing defective about being more of a listener than a talker and with having no desire to be the loudest person in the room (this is no diss on extroverts, as they are also important and loved, and we need someone to start the conversation lol).
It light of this journey of self-love and acceptance, I have assembled a short list of the many benefits that introverts bring to the table so that fellow wallflowers may also better understand their unique and wonderful qualities!
1. Deep Thinking and Reflection - Introverts tend to be introspective and thoughtful. They often spend a lot of time reflecting on their thoughts and feelings, which can lead to deeper insights into themselves and the world around them.
2. Creativity - Many introverts have rich inner worlds, which can fuel creativity. They may find inspiration in solitude and use their introspective nature to create wonderfully novel ideas and solutions.
3. Independence - Introverts typically feel comfortable spending time alone, which can make them more self-sufficient and less reliant on others for validation or entertainment. This independence can lead to a strong sense of self-reliance and autonomy.
4. Strong Listening Skills - Introverts tend to be good listeners, as they are highly attentive to what others have to say. This can make them valuable friends, colleagues, and partners who provide thoughtful support and advice.
5. Meaningful Relationships - While introverts may have smaller social circles, they often develop deep and meaningful connections with those they are close to. They value quality over quantity in relationships and may be highly loyal and supportive friends.
6. Analytical Thinking - Introverts are often adept at analyzing complex information and considering multiple perspectives before making decisions. This analytical approach can lead to well-thought-out choices and strategies.
7. Empathy and Understanding - Because introverts are often sensitive to their own emotions, they may also be more attuned to the feelings of others. This can make them compassionate and understanding individuals who excel in roles that require empathy (e.g, teachers, medical professionals, caregivers, therapists, etc.).
Overall, being an introvert is actually one of my favorite things about myself, and if you are an introvert too, I hope you can find the joy, peace, and inherent value in that moniker. Introverts, unite! Or stay home and be comfortable! You do you!