May: The Hot Seat
Written by Katie Mitchell, M.A., LPC, CST
Clinical Director
Certified Sex Therapist
Physical intimacy isn’t just about exploration and excitement! It’s also about grounding, closeness, and shared control. A position that combines playfulness with deep physical presence is The Hot Seat. This upright, face-to-face position promotes connection, confidence, and mutual rhythm; making it a fantastic choice for couples who want to stay emotionally and physically engaged throughout the experience.
Set-Up: In The Hot Seat position, the penetrating partner sits firmly on a chair, bench, or other stable surface with their feet flat on the floor. The receiving partner straddles them, facing forward, with their knees bent and feet planted or wrapped around the penetrating partner for added support. Both partners remain upright and chest-to-chest, which allows for strong body alignment, eye contact, and the kind of rhythm that comes from moving together (think more rocking than bouncing).
Benefits of The Hot Seat:
Encourages Face-to-Face Connection: The upright, straddled nature of The Hot Seat naturally fosters prolonged eye contact, kissing, and gentle touch; all of which contribute to deeper emotional intimacy.
Balances Playfulness and Control: This position allows the receiving partner to be in charge of rhythm and intensity. The penetrating partner, in turn, provides support and grounding, making this a balanced and collaborative experience.
Supports Slow or Rhythmic Movement: The seated nature of The Hot Seat invites partners to move together in a sensual, rocking motion that helps build arousal slowly and intentionally.
Deepens Physical and Emotional Closeness: With bodies pressed together and hands free to explore, this position allows for shared breathing, synchronized movement, and full-body touch.
Accessible and Adaptable: The Hot Seat can work for many body types and energy levels. The chair offers support, and the position can be modified with pillows, different chair heights, or foot placement to maximize comfort.
Tips for Success:
Choose a sturdy seat: Use a stable, armless chair or firm surface that allows for comfortable leg positioning and won’t slide or tip. Safety is sexy.
Slow down to connect: Focus on rocking movements rather than bouncing. Let your bodies sync and pay attention to how your partner responds to changes in tempo or depth.
Support with touch: The penetrating partner can cradle the receiving partner’s hips, back, or thighs to help with rhythm and provide grounding. Don't underestimate the power of affectionate touch during slow, connected movement.
Create a mood of playfulness and ease: This is a fun and sexy position! Make it your own! Dim lighting, soft music, and a sense of humor can enhance connection and help ease any performance anxiety.
Keep lube at hand: Whether for comfort or enhanced sensation, always have lubricant within reach. It helps maintain fluidity in movement and reduces friction during slower, deeper penetration.
Practice aftercare: Because this position invites emotional vulnerability and full-body connection, make time afterward for cuddling, sharing, or simply being present together. A gentle check-in post-intimacy can go a long way.
The Hot Seat is a beautiful example of how intimacy doesn’t have to be fast or acrobatic to be passionate. Whether you’re trying to reconnect, shift out of routine, or reclaim playful desire in your relationship, The Hot Seat is a fantastic way to prioritize mutual pleasure and presence. Looking to build more connection through sensual touch, shared rhythm, and emotional presence? Take a seat and try The Hot Seat this month. You might be surprised at what opens up, when you slow down and lean into each other.