August Position of the Month: The Cowgirl
Written by Katie Mitchell, M.A., LPC, CST
Clinical Director
Certified Sex Therapist
As the dog days of summer begin to come to an end (but maybe not the heat just yet), many couples find themselves looking for fresh ways to enhance intimacy. This August, consider exploring The Cowgirl. Celebrated for its versatility and empowering dynamic, The Cowgirl puts the receiving partner in control, offering a space to explore rhythm, depth, and pleasure while remaining emotionally attuned. Whether you’re looking to reconnect, increase confidence in the bedroom, or simply switch up your routine, The Cowgirl can offer partners a chance to deepen trust, enhance communication, and have a little fun along the way.
Set-Up: In The Cowgirl position, the penetrating partner lies on their back while the receiving partner straddles them, facing forward. The receiving partner is typically upright, seated on top of their partner’s hips or pelvis. This position allows the receiving partner to control the pace, depth, and movement (this might look like gentle rocking, grinding, or bouncing) based on what feels good to them. Hands can rest on thighs, chest, or hips for balance and support, and both partners are encouraged to make eye contact, exchange verbal cues, and engage in touch to keep the connection strong. With small adjustments to posture (e.g., leaning forward or reclining back), the experience can shift from sensual to playful to deeply erotic.
Benefits:
1. Empowers the Receiving Partner: The Cowgirl gives the receiving partner the freedom to guide the experience, controlling rhythm, pace, and depth. This can be especially empowering for those learning to voice their desires or build sexual confidence.
2. Enhances Clitoral and G-Spot Stimulation: Because the receiving partner is in control of their movements, this position allows for personalized angles that stimulate sensitive areas like the clitoris, G-spot, or prostate (in anal play).
3. Promotes Face-to-Face Connection: The upright posture encourages eye contact, conversation, and playful interaction. This can increase emotional closeness and make the experience feel more connected and intimate.
4. Allows for Creative Variations: The receiving partner can shift into a squat or a forward-leaning “low cowgirl” for different angles and sensations or even experiment with rhythm and tempo for a more sensual experience.
5. Ideal for Slower, Intentional Touch: Because the penetrating partner is in a more passive role, they can use their hands to explore their partner’s body, offer encouragement, and create a sense of being fully present and attuned.
Tips for Success:
Find a Comfortable Base: Make sure the surface (bed, couch, padded bench) is supportive enough for the penetrating partner while still giving the receiving partner enough stability and room to move.
Start Slow and Explore: Begin with slow, intentional movements. This allows both partners to find what feels good and encourages the receiving partner to build confidence at their own pace.
Play with Angles: Leaning forward may provide deeper penetration and greater G-spot stimulation, while leaning back can offer more clitoral contact. A slight hip shift can make a big difference.
Use Hands for Balance and Touch: The receiving partner can steady themselves using their partner’s chest or thighs, and both partners can engage in sensual or playful touch to stay physically and emotionally connected.
Keep Lube Nearby: Deeper or angled penetration can sometimes increase friction. Having lubricant on hand enhances comfort and keeps things flowing smoothly.
Check In and Stay Connected: Don’t underestimate the power of a compliment, a whispered “this feels amazing,” or a moment of laughter. Communication, especially in the middle of pleasure, is one of the most underrated tools in sex.
The Cowgirl has potential to create not just pleasure, but empowerment. It’s a position where exploration and connection meet, ideally where couples can rediscover joy in each other’s bodies and in the act of mutual giving and receiving. Try out The Cowgirl this August!