The Mess is Where the Magic Happens
By: Helena Lorenz, MSW, LCSW
If you have read any of my previous blogs, you will know that I am a bit of a podcast obsessive. I have been a loyal podcast listener for over a decade now and have consumed thousands of hours of incredible audio storytelling. That said, most stories I listen to, typically while driving or cleaning, go in one ear and out the other. I am briefly enraptured and entertained and then distracted again. However, there are a few notable exceptions of shows that have stuck with me over many years, and the Radiolab episode entitled Goo and You is one of them.
In this episode, the team at Radiolab peers into the magical mystery box of the butterfly’s chrysalis. If you are like most people, you probably haven’t thought too hard about the mechanics of the humble caterpillar’s transformation into a gossamer-winged pollinator. The crawling little caterpillar goes into chrysalis looking one way, hides out for a bit, and then emerges looking a completely different way. Bing bang boom, easy peasy.
But of course, it only appears straightforward on the outside. Behind the pupa’s paper-thin shell, entomologists have been able to reveal that a highly complex, almost impossible to conceive chemical reaction takes place. During their metamorphosis, caterpillars will completely liquify themselves before their cells methodically re-arrange and re-solidify into the organs and appendages of a butterfly. I’m gonna say that one more time for extra emphasis --- They completely change STATES OF MATTER during their monumental transition from juvenile to adult. How wild is that???
Genuinely, I highly encourage you to listen to the podcast to get all the delightful details. The precise science is absolutely fascinating, but it is not actually the purpose of this story. Let’s circle around to what the chrysalis’ primordial goo possibly has to do with our mental health.
In the popular imagination, butterflies are one of our most powerful symbols of transformation (see about a million tattoos for evidence), and I find that most people who enter counseling find themselves in the throes of some sort of important metamorphosis. People come seeking care and guidance for all kinds of vital changes, such as having their first child, going through a divorce, or navigating a new job. And regardless of the type of change, people oftentimes grow concerned that their life transition is not going as seamlessly and beautifully as they might have hoped. They are worried they are doing it “wrong”, and that the chaos of their transition is a sign of some sort of personal short-coming or deficit.
And it is precisely when this anxiety and self-doubt arises, that I turn to the butterfly for inspiration. This emblem of grace and beauty and elegance goes through one of the ugliest and messiest transitions imaginable! On its way to its final exquisite form, it turns into an alien-like ooze that doesn’t know its wingtip from its antennae. And that’s ok! That’s how nature intended it to be. And if you are going through a difficult transition right now, please know that just because it’s messy, doesn’t mean you’re messing it up. It’s more than natural to feel turned around and confused and unmoored right now, but you are just in your chrysalis phase! Give yourself time and patience, and lean into the magic of the change. You’ve got this! Wings are coming soon!
Counseling can be a scary step, but we want to make it as easy for you as possible. We have Counseling options in Houston, San Antonio, and virtual counseling! Contact us to learn more.