Why Dating Your Spouse Matters
Written by Ashley Emmel, MSW, LCSW
1. Keeps the Romance Alive
Dating your spouse helps rekindle the spark that brought you together in the first place. When life gets hectic, it’s easy to become co-managers of a household rather than romantic partners. Date nights remind you that your partner is more than just a roommate or co-parent—they are your lover, best friend, and life companion. These intentional moments together help to create new memories, reignite passion, and reinforce the foundation of your relationship.
2. Strengthens Emotional Connection
Spending quality, uninterrupted time together allows for meaningful conversations that go beyond daily logistics. It’s an opportunity to discuss dreams, aspirations, and emotions—topics that often get lost in the shuffle of busy schedules. By continuing to date your spouse, you foster a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, thoughts, and evolving desires, ensuring that you stay emotionally connected over time.
3. Reduces Stress & Strengthens Your Bond
Life can be overwhelming with work, kids, and responsibilities. Date nights serve as a break from stress, allowing you to unwind and enjoy each other’s company without distractions. Studies have shown that spending quality time together reduces cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and increases feelings of security and emotional intimacy. Whether it’s a night out, a quiet evening at home, or a weekend getaway, these moments reinforce your bond and resilience as a couple.
4. Prevents Complacency & Keeps Things Fresh
Long-term relationships can sometimes fall into predictable routines, making it easy to take each other for granted. Regular date nights bring excitement and novelty, reminding both partners that the relationship needs to be nurtured continuously. Trying new activities, surprising each other, or simply making time to be present together helps maintain a sense of adventure and appreciation for one another.
5. Sets a Positive Example for Children
For couples with kids, prioritizing date nights is not only beneficial for the relationship but also sets a healthy example for children. Kids learn about love, respect, and commitment by watching their parents invest in each other. Demonstrating that marriage is about joy, love, and quality time together teaches children what a strong partnership looks like.
Ways to Date Your Spouse
Finding time for date nights doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive. What matters most is intentionality and effort. Here are some simple yet effective ways to keep dating your spouse:
1. Weekly or Monthly Date Nights
Set aside dedicated time for just the two of you, even if it’s as simple as a cozy movie night with takeout at home. Scheduling regular date nights ensures that your relationship remains a priority amidst busy schedules.
2. Surprise Each Other
Little unexpected gestures go a long way in keeping the romance alive. Leaving love notes, bringing home a favorite snack, or planning a surprise outing can make your partner feel loved and appreciated.
3. Try New Experiences Together
Stepping outside of your usual routine and engaging in new activities strengthens your bond. Try cooking a new recipe together, taking a dance class, going on a spontaneous road trip, or exploring a new hobby as a couple. Shared experiences foster excitement and connection.
4. Tech-Free Time
Being fully present is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner. Put away your phones and focus on each other during meals, conversations, and date nights. Even 15 minutes of uninterrupted connection each day can make a difference in strengthening your emotional bond.
5. Recreate Your First Date
Bring back old memories by revisiting the place where you had your first date, ordering the same meal, or reminiscing about the early days of your relationship. Reflecting on how you fell in love can rekindle old feelings and deepen your appreciation for each other.
6. Flirt Like You’re Still Dating
Flirting shouldn’t stop once you’re married. Send cute texts, compliment each other, and express affection throughout the day. Playfulness and romance go hand in hand, and small acts of flirtation help maintain passion and attraction.
7. Take Turns Planning Dates
Keep things fresh by alternating who plans the date. Giving each partner the chance to surprise the other creates anticipation and excitement. It also ensures that both partners feel equally invested in nurturing the relationship.
Final Thoughts: Make Your Relationship a Priority
Dating your spouse is not just about going out on fancy dinners—it’s about making intentional time to connect, communicate, and appreciate each other. Relationships require consistent effort, and by continuing to prioritize your partner, you build a strong, lasting foundation of love, trust, and happiness.
Whether you plan weekly date nights, leave sweet surprises, or simply spend quality time together, the key is to keep showing up for each other. Love is a verb, and the happiest couples are the ones who never stop dating each other.
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