Connecting Activities for Partners during Quarantine

Written by Katie Mitchell, M.A., LPC, CST

Finding yourself a bit stir crazy with all the quarantining/staying-at-home?  Are you and your partner tired of working together at home and/or binge-watching things on TV?  Finding yourselves with more time on your hands than usual; especially if either of you are staying home with child(ren) or due to working virtually?  Heights Family Counseling is coming to the rescue; bringing you different ideas of how you and your partner can connect during this weird and crazy time. 

·      Tackle a home project together that you have both been putting off?  This might be organizing a closet (or many) or creating a donation pile of gently used goods.  This article demonstrates how organizing and de-cluttering has positive effects on our mood, anxiety level, and stress level. 

·      Try out a meditation together.  There are some great visual meditations on the YouTube now that are even less than 10 minutes.  Which is great for the newbie to meditation.  Here is one of my go-to recommendations for clients. à This one is actually from the Calm App YouTube channel.  If you have been wanting to try out the Calm App this might be a great way to see what some of there resources are like.  One of the most helpful podcast meditations that I have found, can be accessed by searching for “Meditation Oasis” by Mary and Richard Maddux in the Podcast App on Apple products.  If you are not an Apple user, you can also find these meditations at the following link.

·      Play a game or do a puzzle together.  The two of you could also easily try out card games that are perfect for two people, such as Skip-Bo, Egyptian Rat Screw, or Speed. 

·      Desiring an activity that will cultivate a more meaningful connection and discussion?  What are going through the eight different conversations discussed in the new Gottman: 8 Dates book.  Each “date” is aimed at discussing a particular topic pertaining to relationships.  If you are not able to get your hands on a physical copy of the book during this time, why not go through my blog series that discusses each date topic

o   Date 1: Trust and Commitment

o   Date 2: Conflict

o   Date 3: Sex

o   Date 4: Work and Money

o   Date 5: Family and Children?

o   Date 6: Play

o   Date 7: Growth and Spirituality

o   Date 8: Dreams

·      Another great resources from the Gottman Institute is the Gottman Card Deck app (found in all mobile app stores).  This app has different sets of “decks” which can help to cultivate connecting conversations between you and your partner.  I highly recommend looking through the entire app, but a great place to start might be the Love Maps and Open-Ended Questions decks.  The Love Maps deck are questions that you are each meant to answer for one another.  Try taking a shot at how well you know each other!  It is okay if each of you get some (or all) of these wrong; the goal of this discussion is to check-in and potentially learn new things about one another.  The Open-Ended Questions deck, is just as it sounds.  These are questions that are aimed at cultivating an entire discussion from one question.

·      Rest Together.  Remember this time does not have to be all productivity!  We are all just trying to do the best that we can with the circumstances we have.  Give yourselves some grace if you are both wiped from wrangling kids and/or jobs all day long.  Why not try a comfortable cuddling position and taking a nap together? 

·      Fool around with one another.  Maybe you’re looking up and thinking, “it’s day 10 of quarantine and I can’t remember the last time we fooled around?”  Again, give yourselves some grace, and also maybe try to cultivate some sexual intimacy between the two of you.  Remember sexual experiences can be a tension reliever for all parties!  Maybe even move a bit out of your comfort zones and try out a new position!  If you are blanking on what to try out, I post a new Position-of-the-Month blog every first Friday of the Month.  Take a look back through our recent highlighted positions to get creative with one another.

If your relationship is struggling during quarantine, couples therapy can help. Contact us today to learn more.