How to Terminate Therapy
Written by Rachel Ealy, M.Ed., LPC
Terminate?! Most things in the therapy world are warm, accepting, and gentle. So why is the word ‘terminate’ thrown out there? For some it sounds kind of harsh. Termination is a fancy word for ending the therapeutic relationship. Termination can also refer to a break in counseling for a period of time as well. Some clients find it easier to terminate if they call it a break, which can also serve as a reminder that consistent therapy sessions can always start back up again when needed. Termination of therapy can happen for a number of reasons:
1. The therapeutic relationship is not a good fit
One of the best predictors of the outcome of therapy is the strength of the therapeutic relationship. If you are not comfortable opening up to your therapist, not much progress will be made. If you are not able to build a strong therapeutic relationship with your therapist, or you feel uncomfortable after the initial ‘get to know you’ stage, maybe it is just not a good fit. This happens sometimes and is completely normal.
2. The goals outlined in the treatment plan developed by the client and counselor have been reached
3. The client feels ready to take on the world on their own, without consistent therapy sessions
4. Your therapist changes jobs or moves
Whether the client brings up termination, or the therapist brings it up, it needs to be brought up early. Think of termination not as one session, but as the last phase of therapy. Ideally, termination should be introduced with about 4-6 sessions left in the treatment plan. This leaves plenty of time for the client and therapist to process the termination.
How to bring up termination (client)
If you are wanting to terminate counseling sessions with your therapist, do not ghost them. I repeat, do not ghost your therapist. If you find yourself wanting to ghost your therapist, ask yourself why. Identify any emotions that are coming up for you and prepare yourself for a discussion with your therapist. If you are feeling uncomfortable or that the therapist is not a good fit, share these emotions and know that it is okay to ask for a referral. Therapy is a microcosm of your daily life – the way that you deal with terminating counseling with your therapist can be a reflection of how you end other things in your life. Do you find yourself wanting to ghost others? Do you have a hard time talking about difficult emotions? Do you have a difficult time standing up for yourself? Allowing yourself to process these things can help you deal with similar situations in the future in a better way.
What if your therapist brings up termination?
Your therapist is a human too and it is our ethical duty to refer clients whom we do not have training to work with, or whom we believe will not benefit from the therapy that we can provide. Your therapist will provide time to process these emotions and the referral process, however this type of termination will likely not take 4-6 sessions. Once I have been working with a client for a while, and I feel that the therapy goals have been achieved, I check in with my client to see how they are feeling regarding their goals. This gives the client an opportunity to reevaluate their goals. If the client feels ready to begin the termination process, then we begin – see termination process below.
If your therapist is taking a new job or moving, termination may be brought up at a time that is not ideal for the client. Sometimes this can elicit feelings of frustration, sadness, anger, resentment, or even abandonment. The most important take way from this blog is to talk about these emotions with your therapist. I encourage my clients by saying that they are allowed to feel whatever they are feeling and that I am there with them through this – no matter what. I remind them that it is okay to feel angry, this is a normal part of grief, and that I will never be mad at them because of how they feel.
The Termination Process
Your therapist should be able to guide you through the process of termination, however here are some things to expect:
1. Whether termination is brought up by the client or the counselor, it should be brought up early. As stated above, allow at least 4 sessions.
2. Discuss with your therapist if you are ready to terminate. If your therapist is moving and you are wanting to continue counseling, your therapist can provide you with a referral.
3. Ask questions. Ask as many questions as you need to understand the process completely. This helps avoid feelings of abandonment and confusion.
4. Pick an ending date. Select, with your counselor, when your last session will be. This will help both the client and counselor plan for what the termination process will look like and allow the client to come to terms with the termination.
5. Talk, talk, talk. Process the emotions that come up for you when your therapist says the word, ‘termination.’ Notice any physical sensations or automatic thoughts. Let it all out!
6. Recognize that feelings of anger, sadness, and even anxiety are completely normal. One of the reasons termination is a process, rather than one session, is because it allows client and counselor to work through these types of emotions that come up.
7. Review or summarize counseling goals, coping skills learned, what you enjoyed and/or did not enjoy, what you struggled with the most, and most importantly celebrate your successes.
8. Come to the final session. Many clients avoid coming to the final session because they think it will be too hard or too sad. Some think that it will be awkward or uncomfortable. Process these feelings with your therapist before the final day to better understand what is causing these types of thoughts and feelings. The last session often provides a lot of closure for both the client and the counselor.