August Position of the Month: Backseat Driver

 Written by Katie Mitchell, M.A., NCC, CST, LPC

Lead Therapist and Sex Therapist at Heights Family Counseling

*As usual, it is recommended that if you or your partner are not feeling well, you might consider delaying sexual engagement until both of you are feeling up to par!  And, as a continued healthy sex practice, please wash your hands before and after a sexual experience.  If it helps you both to feel more comfortable, and in the mood, start your shared sexual experience by taking a shower together.  While a sexual experience can definitely aid in feeling emotionally connected with one another, it is also a great time to get your blood pumping and release physical energy together.  Remember that a sexual experience will release Oxytocin and other beneficial endorphins that will help you both feel bonded to one another and release stress/tension.  In addition to keeping healthy sex practices in mind, I also recommend beginning any sexual experience by doing some light stretching together to help avoid injuries and/or muscle cramps that might arise during a sexual experience, as this is still the most common sexual injury.*

Ideally, you and your partner would try out the Backseat Driver on a soft supportive surface (carpeted floor, on top a blanket, or bed).  The penetrating partner will first kneel on their knees and then lean back on their heels, supporting their upper body by placing their hands on the supportive surface behind them.  This partner will want to be mindful of what is comfortable for kneeling, as one could easily tweak a knee in this position.  The partner being penetrated will sit on top of their partner’s genitals/lap (using their lap as a chair) facing away from their partner.  The partner being penetrated will also help to support themselves (as to not put all their body weight onto their partner), by holding onto their knees, while rocking back and forth / up and down.  Once penetration has occurred, the penetrating partner will use their hips/glutes to thrust forward and up.  Since the two of you will face away from one another in this position, it is incredibly important to develop an effective form of communicating with one another.  It might even be a helpful idea to have a nonverbal touch signal in case.  

For the penetrating partner, this position will work their deltoids, arms, core, and glutes.  For the partner being penetrated, this position will work their core, glutes, and quads.  It is recommended to try this position out for 1 to 5 minutes. 

Here’s to carving out some intentional and prioritized time to engage emotionally and sexually with one another this month.  For more information for this specific position (including image) can be found on page 93 of The Kama Sutra Workout, and this book can be purchased from Amazon here.

If you’re struggling with physical intimacy and feel you’d benefit from sex therapy, contact us today to set up an appointment.