What is the Difference Between Stress and Anxiety?
Written by Amy Rollo, M.A., LPA, LSSP, LPC-S
Founder, Heights Family Counseling
Chest pain, irritability, adrenaline, insomnia, and worry. These pretty much capture my symptoms of both stress and anxiety. We often use these words interchangeably because they feel so similar in our bodies, but there are actually lots of differences. While some things can help with both, there are some coping tools that are specific to each of these.
What is Anxiety
Anxiety, while feeling similarly to stress, is different in that the feelings persist despite removing the stressor. This is seriously important to note for your support system. An anxious person might talk to their partner for comfort and the partner could try and solve the problem. The partner might faultily believe if you remove the stressor, the problem is gone. However, an anxious person learns after a while that solving the “problem” doesn’t reduce the symptoms. In fact, anxious people often feel the anxiety first then attach it to something in order to make sense of why their body is feeling so much anxiety. Our brain is wired to make sense of the world, so when we feel anxiety, we then think about something that might be causing anxiety.
What is Stress
I think everyone has experienced stress at some point. Stress has an external trigger. Think about final week in school, deadlines at work, feeling too stretched thin, parenting, and the list goes on. When the stressor goes away, so does the symptoms of stress. For someone experiencing intense stress, they may just want to vent to their partner or friends. Or, they may be open to a solution because it is the stressor that is causing their problems.
Well… What Do We Do About It?!?
One of the obvious answers to reducing stress is to create balance in your life. If you can avoid the constant stressor, you can feel better. Some easy ways to reduce stressors are learning boundaries and the magic of saying “no.” Many clients come into my office discussing all the things on their plate- volunteering for class parent, book clubs, church volunteering, neighborhood get-togethers, and the list goes on. I get curious and ask, “do you enjoy all of those things.” The answer is usually either “no” or “sometimes.” The need to please can make us say “yes” when that’s not really what we need or want. Learn to say “no” even if it disappoints someone because, in the end, you are the only one living your life and experiencing the consequences. While life will continue to bring mountains of stressors, don’t minimize the value of saying “no.”
Another way to handle stress is completing the stress cycle daily. Let me explain. Our body goes into fight or flight when we experience a stressor because the process previously equipped us with a better ability to survive whatever the stressor was. For instance, if you are fighting an animal, the adrenaline would allow you to run faster or fight harder. However, for the most part in today’s world, we do not benefit from the fight, flight, or freeze response. Our stressors aren’t typically physical threats, but instead work, school, parenting, etc. In order for our body to know the “stressor” is no longer a threat, we need to complete the stress cycle. Let’s go back to the animal example. Once our heart rate went up from either running or fighting, our body knew the stressor we defeated or outran the stressor. We either ran home or fought the battle and our body then knew we had won. We can signal this same thing by working out- this can be a simple as a nightly walk, lifting weights, yoga, etc. This nightly practice completes the stress cycle for the day and signals to your brain that you can relax. If you hate working out, meditation, breathing exercises, and even laughter have been shown to also complete the stress cycle.
Productivity can be a great way to feel less stressed. I often talk to clients about the different forms of self-care. We can stay in bed, get facials, go out with friends, etc., or we can do something on the to-do list. Sometimes getting things done can help with stress, as you feel less of the burden on yourself.
Making a plan is another great way to cope with stress. When I have too much on my plate, I try to get to work early and write down everything I need to do. Then, I make a plan of how I will do it, or prioritize. Instead of just holding the stress, I now have a plan. It will get achieved, and I instantly feel a bit better.
Well, what about anxiety?!?
Therapy is such a great option for anxiety. Similar to fight, flight, or freeze response that impacts stress, it can impact our anxiety. Through counseling, we can start to recognize patterns that are adding to our anxiety, such as the anxiety cycle where an individual feels anxious, wants to avoid feeling that, so they go into a freeze response and avoid doing the thing they are anxious about, then feel more anxious, causing them to avoid it more. There are so many research-based therapy approaches that can reduce anxiety, such as EMDR, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, DBT, and more.
Name it to tame it. When we talk about our emotions, recognize them, and start discussing how we experience them in our bodies, it actually reduces the anxiety. That is why it can also be helpful for loved ones listening to someone talk about their anxiety, to just let the person describe it. The process of talking about it can be helpful in many cases (note that this is not always the case with intrusive thoughts where we can ruminate on it).
Medication can also be a helpful solution to high levels of anxiety. SSRIs and other psychotropic medications can be helpful in reducing anxiety and giving relief when other options are not working. Talk to a psychiatrist or prescribing doctor to learn more about the options.
Meditation, journaling, exercise, yoga, and breathing exercises have all been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety. All of these can be part of the “toolkit” to help with anxiety.
While anxiety and stress might feel the same, they are a bit different. Sometimes when stress levels increase, anxiety levels will, too. Try some of the approaches to see what helps you!
If you're struggling with anxiety or coping with stress, anxiety counseling is a great way to heal and discover new coping skills. A skilled therapist can help support you and treat symptoms of anxiety. At Heights Family Counseling, we offer online and in-person counseling. Begin Anxiety Treatment in Houston and San Antonio, TX:
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