Cheers, To All Our Comforts

Written by Amy Rollo, M.A., LSSP, LPA, LPC-S

Founder, Heights Family Counseling

Making your way through the plague today
Takes everything you got
Taking a break from all your worries
It sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away (but you can’t because of the plague)?

Sometimes you want to go
Where people aren’t 6 feet away
And they’re not scared you came
You want to be where you can see
The troubles are NOT all the same
You want to be where everybody is glad you came

You want to go where people know
That your presence won’t infect them because that’s so lame
You want to go anywhere but home

Who grew up watching Cheers?!? The theme song was perfect. At its core, it was about yearning to heal and connect through spending time with familiar faces. That’s what makes this pandemic more difficult. We need to connect. We need to have our familiar comforts, but we likely feel limited with what’s available. We can’t go to our best friend’s house, go out to our favorite comfort food restaurant, or have drinks with friends. Most of us are stuck at home, doing our part to help fight the Coronavirus- and shout out to everyone doing their part! Here are some ideas to take comfort during this time.

1.     Find a new ritual. If you are married rituals are a must to creating a solid relationship. In my own marriage, we decided to spend the evenings listening to podcasts and audible books together during the week. During the day, we make sure to work-out together. What would you like to add to your family ritual to help connect and feel comfort?

2.     Don’t stop taking care of yourself. I look at my nails without polish, the wearing of constant work-out clothes, and limited make-up. The simplicity is kind of nice, but it can impact self-esteem. I recently made a pledge to myself to keep up the things that make me feel good, even if I’m the only one that will see me that day. It helps with self-esteem and feeling a sense of normalcy.

3.     Working-out is one of the best things you can do for your mental and physical health. It can be hard to want to take care of yourself during quarantine, but use the opposite urge technique. This means when we feel bad, we often do things to continue this feeling. Opposite urge allows us to do things to help feel better. Go for a walk, download a free workout app, or create your own work-out routine. I promise you, it is needed during this time, and you will feel better.

4.     Continue to date your spouse. You might feel like this isn’t needed, as you are around them ALL. THE. TIME, but it is more important than ever before. Maybe cook together and watch a movie cuddled on the couch, download the Gottman Card Deck app and go over the Love Map questions, order a new board game, or share a bottle of wine on your porch. Date nights are all about setting the intention of connecting. You can still do this!

5.     Friendships are more important than ever. Our office recently had a virtual happy hour. It was so fun to see everyone’s homes and pets and even their favorite drinks. It was such a connection from the comfort of our homes.

6.     Journaling is so healing. It’s one of my favorite recommendations for my clients. Here are some journal prompts that can be adapted to this time, https://heightsfamilycounseling.com/blog/2019/11/23/39-journal-prompts-to-practice-gratitude-mindfulness-and-positive-thinking-this-holiday-season.

7.     Go back to the comforts of childhood. Cook foods that were comforting, watch reruns of childhood sitcoms, and re-watch your favorite movies. Your body remembers these things, and it will take you back to a simpler time.

8.     Do something to help someone else. When we connect and help others, we instantly feel better. Send a card, donate to a cause, or call someone that might be lonely.

9.     Do a mindfulness activity. There are many yoga classes that are free online, take a bubble bath, or work on your breathing. Your body literally needs this right now.

10.  My favorite option is setting up a therapy appointment. Our entire staff has talked about how important it is for all of us to keep up with our own personal therapy during this time. It’s hard, finances are likely limited, and virtual therapy just doesn’t feel the same for some. But you need some time to feel grounded, understood, and to have the weight lifted off of you. There has never been a better time to start therapy.

Please know I am here for you in whatever way you need me during this time. Whether it is a quick email sending support, a counseling for life transitions session, or just sending you positive vibes, I have you covered. We will get through this together. Have hope, find joy, and continue to stay well. Contact Heights Family Counseling today to set up a session.