Transitioning from summer back into school mode can be full of emotions. I remember feeling sad that the summer was over, and also excited, overwhelmed, as well as nervous. I didn't know what to expect. It was more intense when I was leaving home for the first time and going off to college. It was the start of something new, and change can be scary sometimes. Whether it is your first year in college, or you are a returning student, these tools may help you to have a successful school year.
Many look forward to graduating from college, often imagining it as a time when all their hard work pays off and life falls into place. Making the shift from college to life after graduation can be a challenge. Suddenly, a world that may seem unfamiliar and daunting replaces the predictable routines of classes, social networks, and academic goals.
Have you ever experienced a sudden sense that you're falling behind in life and that time seems to be speeding past you? Your mind is stuck between where you are and where you thought you should be. You try to talk yourself out of the idea that you would be able to live a more successful life if you only put in more effort and pushed yourself.
For myself and others who struggle with anxiety, making any sort of decision, big or small, can be a bit of a mine field. When faced with the power to choose, our brains get flooded with seemingly insurmountable questions -- How do I plan for all the possible outcomes?
People are just as scared of the grieving as they are of the dead. I learned as a young child after attending older family members’ funerals that I feared the dead. I remember dreading the viewing and having to be brave when expected to look at the bodies. Everything in me hated the experience; I was afraid of the dead. I knew it and recognized it.
First of all, congratulations! Second of all, I completely understand how you feel when you hear, “So, what are you doing after you graduate?” This question, while usually from well-intentioned family members, is dreaded by many college students in their last few semesters of college.
Who else feels a bit of pressure and just freezes? I remember at the start of the pandemic, while the world was shutting down, I kept feeling paralyzed. Here I was the owner and decision-maker of my practice, and every decision felt overwhelming. This was different from my past self, who tended to work harder the more stressed I felt. However, the pandemic was different and brought out a different response. All of a sudden, every move and decision felt overwhelming. I caught myself escaping through binging Netflix, sharing a bottle of wine, or anything else that felt unproductive.
Couples are reporting spending more time together since the pandemic hit. But, they report feeling lonelier than ever. This quote feels truer than ever before, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” So, the question today is, why are we feeling so alone despite spending so much time together?
“This is fine” (insert meme of cute dog sipping coffee with fire surrounding it). I think I sent this meme to different members of the HFC team at least half a dozen times throughout the pandemic with tears running down my face from laughter like I was losing it… Maybe I was losing it. Humor is my coping skill and while my own therapist may disapprove of it at times, it really has helped me survive the pandemic.
Alright, y’all! We made it. I don’t know if anyone else follows those funny memes where people show photos of their slowly declining mood for every month of the year, but I find them incredibly accurate. If I created one of my own, my December photo would probably be me crawling over the finish line with a forced, slightly fearful smile. I would force a smile because there is something refreshing about the New Year that makes me want to believe in new opportunities and positive growth, but the little bit of fear comes from so many unknowns in 2021.
I haven’t had a haircut since January. I haven’t seen my colleagues in person in eight months. I haven’t lingered over a long, relaxing meal with friends – in a restaurant or a home – in about that long. And I really miss seeing my clients in person. The energy and connection of being with people in person feed my soul.
The steps seem so easy in this all too familiar playground song. We were taught at a young age that after you fall in love, you get married, then you have children… And then everyone lives happily ever after. We now know that relationships and love can come in many different forms and don’t always follow this simple childhood song; however, many still continue to believe in the fairytale of what we think life will look like after having a baby. For many, they believe their relationship will grow stronger, they will feel more in love, and live blissfully ever after when starting a family.
