The Power of Perspective and Gratitude

Written by Michele Dial, M.Ed, LPC 

As we wrap a year like 2020, gratitude can seem like a stretch, perhaps especially for those among us who have faced grave loss. We have collectively been through some unprecedented and extremely challenging times over the last year. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I’m feeling the weight of all that humanity has experienced.

There is so much we encounter in life that is beyond our control. Thankfully, our perspective is well within our grasp. It is ours to direct.

Have you ever had the honor of meeting one of those people who have been through something painful or traumatic, and still have a sense of peace and a positive attitude about them? Ever been in the midst of something difficult with one of these folks and the first words out of their mouth were uplifting? Ever wish you had that “gift” of seeing things differently?  

It’s not magic. It’s a choice.

Sure, it seems natural; even automatic. And maybe it is, at this point. But I promise you at some point in their lives – maybe at several points before it became a natural first response – they chose where to put their focus. Like every other habit we form, it takes intention, awareness, and repetition. It’s not that they don’t hurt. It’s not that they’re in denial. They just recognize there are multiple facets of every experience, and they choose how they will move through each one.

One of the most effective ways to take charge of your outlook is a daily gratitude practice. Gratitude is a gentle reminder that even when we’re hurting, there is light in our lives. Gratitude does not ignore challenges and difficulties. It simply reminds us that there is always more. We do not have to be consumed or controlled by the pain of what we’re experiencing.

It’s one thing to express gratitude when we spontaneously feel it. But the real power lies in proactive gratitude. Next-level change in perspective occurs when we actively seek out the bright spots in our days.

According to Derrick Carpenter, MAPP, “People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they're thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.”

So, what does a daily gratitude practice look like? At its most basic, it’s making a list of things – people, circumstances, experiences – that you appreciate. Some folks like to start their day with gratitude to set the tone for the day. It’s a great option for guiding your mood and mindset into a positive space. You may be surprised at how much it impacts your approach to your day-to-day activities.

Others prefer to end their day with gratitude. This option allows you to let go of the negativity you may have encountered and allow your mind to rest peacefully. And if you know you’re going to be making a list of things you’re grateful for at dinnertime or bedtime, you’ll be looking for things to add to your list throughout the day. Seeking out good things to be thankful for can be a major shift in outlook.

You may also want to consider gratitude sprinkled into everyday moments, such as lunchtime and car rides. Regardless of what time of day you choose to start cataloging the gifts in your life, here are a few more guidelines for making effective gratitude lists.

-       Be specific. Expressing gratitude for friends or family members is wonderful. Being grateful for their specific gifts and attributes can heighten that sense of knowing and comfort. Being thankful for health is good. Being thankful for the specific things your body enables you to do, kicks it up a notch.

-       List at least 5 things. Research shows that a 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative experiences is a good balance to promote a happier, more stable existence, particularly within relationships. Feel free to work your way up to 10 things per day to really challenge yourself.  

-       Vary your lists. While it’s true that some of the things we’re grateful for are present every day, it’s easy to get bored with the practice if we put the same gifts on the list each day. Challenge yourself to list different items each day so you don’t start to go numb to the effects of expressing gratitude.

In the interest of taking my own advice, I’d like to close with a gratitude list that will help me maintain balance during challenging times. So here goes – 10 (not-too-personal) things I’m grateful for in this moment.

1.       I’m thankful for my hearing and vision, which add layers of depth to my job as a therapist.

2.       I’m grateful for a leader who believes in abundance over scarcity, and values humanness over perfection.

3.       I’m grateful for my family’s laughter that fills my home.

4.       I’m grateful for puppy snuggles, and their daily reminder to enjoy the simple pleasures and rest up as often as possible.

5.       I’m grateful for my ability to continue supporting and counseling with my clients from a safe physical distance.

6.       I’m grateful for the technology that enables me to still see friends and family face-to-face, when I can’t see them in person.

7.       Although I despise cold weather, I’m grateful for the moderate temperatures of a Houston winter.

8.       I’m thankful for my faith community who reminds me to get outside of myself and my small corner of the world to serve others and be a part of something greater than my individuality.

9.       I’m thankful for the soothing warmth and invigorating energy of sunshine, even – or especially – on a chilly day.

10.   I’m grateful for my body’s ability to exercise, which boosts my mood and physical health.

Happy New Year, yall!

SERVICES MICHELE OFFERS AT HEIGHTS COUNSELING

Michele offers a variety of mental health services for adults at our Houston Heights Therapy Clinic. Her mental health services include: adult therapy, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, therapy for stress and burnout, trauma treatment and EMDR, and counseling for life transitions. She also offers online therapy in Texas to meet your mental health needs when you can’t make it to our therapy clinic. To learn more, please contact our counseling office or read her bio.