An Enneagram Guide for Self-Care: Type 1

WRITTEN BY STEFF BRAND, M.S., LPC, NCC, CCATP

If you are reading this, it is likely that you are already somewhat familiar with the Enneagram personality system.  Some say it was invented in 1915, but others will argue that it was established by monks centuries earlier.  It was originally designed to help individuals engage in deep self-reflection and heal emotional wounds.  Today, it is used by mental health professionals to help clients understand their personalities due to their social environments and past experiences.  It is used by employers to establish efficient, comprehensive teams in the workplace.  Also, thanks to the internet and social media, it is now also used by anyone that has access to a computer or smart phone and is looking to better understand themselves. 

Understanding the different personality types will arm you with knowledge to better replenish your unique emotional needs.  It will also help you nurture and show empathy towards your partner’s needs.  Instead of getting caught up in another cycle of conflict because you each are trying to convince the other person why your point of view is right, you can recognize that both perspectives are valid attempts to support different personal needs.  Conflict management is not just communication tips and tricks.  Those can help too; but managing a tough conflict means being genuinely curious about the other person’s thoughts and feelings and working together as a team to find acceptance and compromise.

Enneagram expert and author, Christina S. Wilcox, elaborates on the nine personality types that make up this system in her book, Take Care of Your Type.  In her work, she does a great job explaining how the type of self-care that you need varies based on your personality type.  In this blog series, over the next couple months, I will provide some of my favorite highlights from her work.  I also highly recommend you read the whole book.  Those online quizzes are a great starting point to determine your type, but you can gain a much more accurate result by exploring all types and making your own decision about which one resonates with you the most.  When trying to determine your enneagram type, it might be helpful to remember that you probably have a little bit of each type inside you.  The core desires, fears, and motivations that surface the most emotion as you read them will determine your dominant type. 

In this blog, we will explore type 1…

Type 1: The Idealist

If you have an inner critic that just will not keep quiet and is constantly judging all of your decisions, you might be an idealist.  Some also refer to type 1s as perfectionists or reformers because they are always looking to improve themselves and their work.  They need controlled, efficient, and balanced situations and avoid making mistakes at all costs.  They will hold others accountable for achieving their goals and will be extremely hard on themselves if they don’t meet their own high standards.  Type 1s are passionate and independent but are high risk for burnout. 

Self-Care Recommendations:

Self-affirm with the words, “I am good enough.”

Let yourself struggle and fail.  Learn to process it and not just avoid it. 

Intentionally plan time to be alone and recharge.  The world does not depend on you.

Look at a scrapbook or old journal and reflect on how far you have come.

Take time to do things that are seen as unproductive.  Trade in working, organizing, and planning for a dance party in your living room or practice a mindfulness technique while laying on your bed.

Let go of control at school, work, and home.  Do this especially where you seek it most.

Practice gratitude and celebrate YOU even on the days that you got nothing done.  There are no preliminary conditions to treat yourself.    

Discuss your pain with those you trust.  The goal is to be accepted and seen for your true self, not just your controlled self.

Put sticky notes around your living space that say things like, “breathe” and “slow down.”

Allow yourself to be angry at times.  Own it in the moment.  It is a normal emotion and trying to control it will only lead to a more aggressive reaction in the future.

Show yourself compassion through journaling.  Put your fears about achievement on paper and reframe the negative dialogue.  Ask your therapist for help, if necessary.

Why Self-Care is Important for a Type 1

Type 1s ultimately want everything in the world to be perfect and this often makes them miss out on the beauty within the mess around them.  If they do not take time to properly care for their needs, they can get too caught up in correcting their world.  This can produce loneliness and unhealthy physical and mental health.  Type 1s need self-care, so they can fully experience life without guilt of their imperfections and mistakes. 

If your partner is a Type 1, try to help them engage in the kind of self-care that is specific to their needs.  Remind them that they do not have to conquer the world in one day since they often forget this. If you notice them finally sitting down to process their thoughts, try to remove pressure to do anything else.  Pick up the slack with chores and responsibilities during their alone time.  Plan a party for their half birthday or celebrate them for no reason at all.  Remind them that life is not about the measurement of their work ethic.  It is about living, loving, and enjoying. 

  SERVICES STEFF OFFERS AT HEIGHTS COUNSELING

Steff offers a variety of mental health services for kids, teens, and adults at our Houston Heights Therapy Clinic. Her mental health services include: child counseling, play therapy, adult therapy, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, therapy for stress and burnout, sex therapy, trauma treatment and EMDR, couples counseling, premarital counseling and counseling for life transitions. She also offers online therapy in Texas to meet your mental health needs when you can’t make it to our therapy clinic. To learn more, please contact our counseling office.