December’s Position of the Month: Benchwarmer

WRITTEN BY KATIE MITCHELL, M.A., NCC, LPC, NCC
CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST

December’s highlighted position of the month is the Benchwarmer.  With COVID variants continuing to spread and the holiday season now in full swing, please keep healthy sex practices in mind!  Remain cognizant to wash your hands (and use the restroom) before and after a sexual experience.  Remember, a healthy and sensual way to start a sexual experience is to take a shower together.  It might be a good idea to rain check physical intimacy if either of you are feeling under the weather. 

Sexual experiences will release oxytocin and other beneficial endorphins, which will help to increase the emotional bond between you and your partner(s), plus it’ll also release stress and tension (which might be needed now with the holiday season here).  As I always recommend, try to begin any sexual experience by doing some light stretching together to help avoid injuries and/or muscle cramps that might arise during physical intimacy (especially since muscle cramps/injuries are the most common sexual injuries).  

The Benchwarmer is a side-entry position.  Ideally, you and your partner would try out the Benchwarmer on a well-supported surface; this could be a bed, couch, soft-floor, etc.  The penetrating partner will lay on their back on the supportive surface (facing up).  The partner being penetrated will then lower themselves on top of their partner with their legs to their partner’s side (either side will work – whichever is most comfortable for you).  The penetrating partner will utilize their core to gyrate while on top on their partner (creatin a thrust); this partner can also lean their hands on their partner’s chest and thigh for support.  The penetrating partner will also engage his glutes to pulsate, adding to the thrusting experience. 

Once penetration has occurred, the partner being penetrated will have most of the control when setting the thrusting pace.  Be sure to find a pace that is pleasurable for both by starting out slowly and then increasing movement as you both feel and express comfortability.  For the penetrating partner, this position will work their glutes.  For the partner being penetrated, this position will also work their core and glutes.  It is recommended to try out this position for 5 to 10 minutes.  As a reminder, lubrication is always important to have on hand for trying out a new position that is not routine; plus, it’s a benefit to have it be a grab away, versus realizing you are out!

Here’s to carving out some time to try something new this December!  Not only can it be a great way to release some of the tension with the holiday season, it can also be a fun time to try out a new position together.  More information for this specific position (including a visual image) can be found on page 254 of The Kama Sutra Workout, and this book can be purchased from Amazon here.

If you're wanting to improve your physical intimacy, sex therapy can help support you and/or your relationship. At Heights Family Counseling, we offer online and in-person counseling in both our Houston Heights and San Antonio Alamo Heights locations. Contact us today.