What's Next? Coping with Uncertainty After Graduation
WRITTEN BY RACHAEL LINDBERG, M.S., LPC, SXI
PSYCHOTHERAPIST & BOARD CERTIFIED SEXOLOGIST
First of all, congratulations! Second of all, I completely understand how you feel when you hear, “So, what are you doing after you graduate?” This question, while usually from well-intentioned family members, is dreaded by many college students in their last few semesters of college. Even though you have completed the necessary steps to graduate, you may still have absolutely no idea about what you want to do with your life. And that’s okay! Sure, you majored in literature, economics, or psychology but that doesn’t always mean our entire lives have been mapped out to show us exactly where to go next. Life is confusing, fun, and full of opportunity. You could move on to a graduate program, go backpacking in South America, join the military, or start your career. However, all of those choices can be overwhelmingly daunting and we can begin to compare ourselves with our friends and classmates. Who is getting married after graduation? How the heck did they buy a house? How did she graduate so early? These thoughts of comparison could lead to feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, low self-esteem, and even jealousy as we feel we are behind others in life.
Coping with these emotions, accepting where we are in life, and practicing gratitude for the possibilities in our lives can be helpful with navigating this experience. Uncertainty can be an uncomfortable emotion to sit with. We often struggle to accept the opportunity to embrace the potential opportunities, even if we aren’t sure what those opportunities are yet.
Below are some tips for managing these feelings of uncertainty and comparison as you enter your next chapter in life.
Practice self-compassion
The best thing you can do during this time of transition is to be gentle with yourself! You just spent the past few years stressing about assignments and managing high expectations from professors. It’s time to let go of those demands and expectations, at least for a little while. Tell yourself it is okay to take a break, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend (or your younger self), and remind yourself that you just accomplished something amazing by graduating! It is okay to lower your expectations and stop telling yourself what you “should” be doing now that you’ve graduated and instead practice self-kindness as you cope with this transition.
Focus on the things you enjoy
College is incredibly busy with classes, student organization meetings, part-time jobs, and spending time with your friends and roommates. Before starting whatever your next chapter is (beginning your career, joining the military, entering parenthood, etc.), take the time to focus on hobbies and activities that you enjoy, especially those that you may not have been able to spend time on while in college. Dig your flute out of your closet, finally read past the first couple of chapters of the book on your nightstand, go to cooking class, or do whatever else makes you feel happy. These will be the activities that bring you joy at any stage of your life and are incredibly important as a form of self-care.
Try not to compare yourself to your fellow graduates
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” As a therapist, and even in my own personal life, I have heard and felt this many times over the years. Comparing ourselves to others’ accomplishments diminishes our own. It clouds our ability to practice gratitude and acceptance for where we are in our lives and celebrate our own wins, even if they seem insignificant. Everyone’s journey is unique and we do not have control over anyone’s lives, so spending time agonizing over the grass being greener in someone else’s life is time that could be better spent nourishing our own gardens.
Celebrate your accomplishments and your future opportunities
It is normal to feel bummed, uncertain, or even scared after the closing of this chapter of life. Don’t forget to celebrate the incredible accomplishment of graduating from college, even if it was expected of you. Take the time to pause worrying about the future to celebrate all that you have accomplished and, hopefully, that can give you space to feel the excitement, rather than dread, about your future opportunities in life. Have a little party, eat your favorite meal, treat yourself to a gift- anything that makes you feel celebrated.
Seek life transitions counseling if you feel overwhelmed
Coping with life transitions is one of the most common reasons people seek individual counseling. It can be incredibly overwhelming to manage your new role and routine in life. A licensed counselor can help you navigate these changes and encourage you to utilize healthy coping skills, set new goals, and practice self-compassion.
Begin Counseling in Houston, TX, or San Antonio, TX:
Our team of skilled therapists is passionate about helping you build the life you want. We are value-driven and help people navigate life to make sense of their stories. Together, we ensure they are creating meaning and purpose in their lives. We would love to work with you. Follow these steps to begin counseling in Houston, TX & San Antonio, TX, or online therapy in Texas:
1. Contact our counseling clinic to set up a free phone consultation
2. Meet with one of our therapists
3. Begin individual counseling