The Gifts of Quarantine

Written by Michele Dial, M.Ed, LPC

I haven’t had a haircut since January. I haven’t seen my colleagues in person in eight months. I haven’t lingered over a long, relaxing meal with friends – in a restaurant or a home – in about that long. And I really miss seeing my clients in person. The energy and connection of being with people in person feed my soul.

In addition to a devastating pandemic with extensive loss of life, 2020 has also hosted civil unrest, social injustice, and political turmoil. Regardless of beliefs or positioning, 2020 has impacted us all in various ways, challenging our sense of self and safety, and knowing.

As we dive headlong into this season of Thanksgiving and holiday celebration, many among us are feeling weary and frazzled from a year full of unexpected twists and challenges, grief and loss. In the midst of it all, it can be hard to see positivity and light – our lens may be too clouded.

But I am an eternal optimist. The optimist in me is often waiting quietly on the sidelines as I sit with folks in their pain and encourage them to make space for the full range of their emotions. But she is always humming just beneath the surface. I know, I know – it can be maddening to be around a bright-sider like me. But it’s my hope for a brighter future, for wisdom and newness, that helps me persevere.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the issues we’ve faced in 2020, some purposeful, some I stumble into in the course of a conversation. While the list of losses throughout this year is probably endless, I still see rays of light peeking through the clouds. Here are a few gains as I see them.

Being more intentional with our time and relationships. Quarantine has been hard. We’ve been asked to restrict how many people we see and under what conditions. We’ve been asked to switch to curbside pickup or delivery for all kinds of shopping. Favorite hangouts have been closed. With the ever-present threat of a potentially deadly virus looming, we’ve had to become more aware of our habits and think more intentionally about how we spend our time and with whom, whether we’re protecting ourselves or someone else. Every choice we make requires a risk assessment.

While we may have developed decision fatigue, this exercise in choosing who and what makes the cut can be very enlightening. Pre-pandemic, many of us operated on autopilot with daily activities and said yes to every invitation. Now, many individuals and families have curated a pod of “safe” people holding similar beliefs and restrictions with whom they socialize.

The Bright Side: Weighing the value of our activities and relationships has shined a light on what’s really important to us and what we truly want to be doing with our time. This clarity on what we value most is priceless.

Getting back to simple pleasures. Many of us are spending a LOT more time at home these days. Even folks who go to work each day may be limiting their other activities outside the home. With many public gathering places closed, as well as our personal restrictions on where we’re willing to go, we’ve had to make some shifts in how we entertain ourselves.

Besides the toilet paper and hand sanitizer crisis, did you notice what else sold out this year? If you tried to buy a bike for anyone of any size, you soon realized everyone else was searching for one, too. Other items in short supply have included arts and crafts materials, home improvement items, cooking gadgets, camping gear, and home gym equipment, to name a few. Many of us are also spending a ton more time outside.

The Bright Side: The limits on our ability to engage in many of our favorite activities this year have pushed us towards getting creative at home, developing new hobbies and outlets, and in many cases, getting back to simple, low-tech pleasures that often involve more personal interaction.

Slowing down enough to recognize and experience troubled areas of our lives. This is a tough one. All this time at home with limited access to friends and extended family has meant serious time alone with ourselves and our partners. Reflection is almost inevitable unless we’re working to push it away. And what we encounter has varied widely. Some have unearthed new talents or resurrected old passions, like reading, writing, playing music, or creating art – all good things. Others have tapped into unresolved hurts and deep-seated negative beliefs. Some have also come face to face with painful truths in their relationships that previously were ignored.

The Bright Side: While the journey is sometimes joyful and sometimes painful, self-exploration is rarely wasted energy. The benefits of knowing ourselves better – the good and the not-so-good – can lead to more understanding and grace for ourselves and others, less inner conflict and more peace, and greater resilience. And, if we are willing and courageous, it can lead to important changes that have been a long time coming.

If you’re stuck somewhere along the path of self-discovery and feeling unresolved, don’t stop there. Get support from friends, family, a therapist, or self-growth books to help you complete this enriching journey.

 SERVICES MICHELE OFFERS AT HEIGHTS COUNSELING

Michele offers a variety of mental health services for adults at our Houston Heights Therapy Clinic. Her mental health services include: adult therapy, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, therapy for stress and burnout, trauma treatment and EMDR, and counseling for life transitions. She also offers online therapy in Texas to meet your mental health needs when you can’t make it to our therapy clinic. To learn more, please contact our counseling office or read her bio.