More Ways to Connect with Your Partner While Stuck at Home
WRITTEN BY STEFF BRAND, M.S., NATIONALLY CERTIFIED COUNSELOR, LPC-INTERN
Which day is it for you? Number 14? Number 15? Do you have a boss in denial of the changing times and are just now beginning to navigate this new virtual life? Maybe you are an essential worker and are still required to leave the house in the morning, but your partner is now home… still working full time… trying to homeschool three kids and keep up with all the new messes.
Whichever scenario is the case for you, my therapist alarm has been activated and its guess is that there has been some increased tension in your home.
I am not here to tell you to push those frustrated, overwhelmed, rejected, annoyed, or unappreciated feelings aside. Process the heck out of them because times are really hard right now, and you have a right to be heard. Just be careful not to hurt your partner in the process. Avoid criticizing and blaming your partner for leaving his or her dishes on the counter: “you clearly don’t value cleanliness or my time.” Instead, try to remind yourself of your partner’s good qualities and be grateful for any kind actions: “thanks for putting in an order for more dish soap. Can you help me tackle the dishes tonight, too?
When times are hard, remember to still show up for your partner and continue to grow. Here are a bunch of ideas you can use to connect with each other. Get creative, have fun, and remember why you chose each other! #QuaranTEAM
50 Games to Play with Just 2 People
1. Two Truths and a Lie
2. War
3. Hide and Seek
4. I Spy
5. Guess Who (the board game)
6. Guess Who (with real life people… grab a notebook and pen to record answers)
7. Sorry
8. Sequence
9. Pictionary
10. Monopoly Deal
11. Golf
12. Speed
13. Blink
14. Phase 10
15. Truth or Dare
16. Set
17. Five Crowns
18. Stratego
19. Chutes and Ladders
20. Candyland
21. Uno
22. Ticket to Ride
23. Ticket to Ride Europe
24. Thumb War
25. Scrabble
26. Beer Pong
27. Othello
28. Rummikub
29. Chess
30. Checkers
31. Giant Tic Tac Toe
32. Yahtzee
33. Boggle
34. Farkle
35. Charades
36. Tag
37. Bananagrams
38. Cornhole
39. Twister
40. Strip Poker
41. Shut the Box
42. Connect Four
43. Go Fish
44. Rock Paper Scissors
45. Pandemic
46. Battleship
47. Forbidden Island
48. Jenga
49. Would You Rather
50. Heads Up
75 Other Activities for Couples
1. Hold a cooking competition
2. Race outside
3. Find a new show you can ONLY watch together
4. Finally, read Gottmans’ Eight Dates
5. Read a fiction book independently then discuss your thoughts
6. Go for a walk and try to get lost
7. Have a coffee date on your porch
8. Do an on demand workout
9. Write letters to loved ones together
10. Do a crossword puzzle
11. Use Netflix Party and watch a movie with another couple
12. Wrestle
13. Take an online class together
14. Give each day a theme and dress accordingly
15. Have a Zoom happy hour with friends or family
16. Build a fort with blankets
17. Attend concerts online and donate to the musicians
18. Draw each other with chalk on the driveway
19. Write a poem or rap about each other
20. Learn a new language (just enough to have a short conversation)
21. Create a vision board
22. Make something from scratch
23. Follow a new recipe
24. Slow dance to a song you both love
25. Use an app like Headspace or Calm and meditate together
26. Write a short story together (switch off individually adding a page each day)
27. Organize your closet
28. Do “the thing” that you have not had time for
29. Do a face mask together
30. Read Gottmans’ Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
31. Give each other a professional-like massage
32. Re-arrange the furniture
33. “Go to the beach” in your backyard
34. Start a garden
35. Do a virtual tour of something overseas like the Buckingham Palace
36. Dress up fancy for a special dinner at home
37. Have an indoor picnic
38. Start a family blog
39. Create quizzes for each other on Buddy Meter
40. Make a scrapbook with old photos
41. Journal your priorities and compare
42. Write love letters to each other
43. Create a fancy menu for the week with food choices from your fridge
44. Create a shared gratitude journal
45. Start vlogging your quarantined experience
46. Make a time capsule
47. Make a shared playlist on Spotify
48. Start making your Halloween costume early
49. Make care packages for your delivery drivers
50. Do a bar crawl by planting different drinks in various rooms of the house
51. Take turns letting each other have breakfast in bed
52. Order value cards from Amazon
53. Make a mini golf course in your home
54. Have a church service in your living room
55. Read your wedding vows
56. Watch a documentary together
57. Do karaoke
58. Find your dream house online and tell each other what you like about it
59. Play catch in the backyard
60. Donate to a small business that was forced to close
61. Book future appointments with your dentist, doctor, and massage therapist
62. Each pick and share a song that describes a story from your past
63. Have a handstand contest (lean your feet on the wall if needed)
64. Do online yoga through my favorite studio
65. See who can go longer without touching their phone
66. Blindfold your partner and have them guess which foods you are feeding them
67. See who can do jumping jacks longer
68. Have a word search challenge
69. Find out who has the best British accent
70. Read Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight
71. Pretend the floor is lava and make an obstacle course
72. Complete a puzzle and hang the finished picture in your home
73. Watch the webcams at the Houston Zoo
74. Have a virtual Painting with a Twist date
75. Google anything you would normally want to do and check out the new virtual options available
100 Open Ended Questions to Ask Each Other
1. What is your favorite thing about me?
2. What do you value most in a relationship?
3. What does trust mean to you?
4. How did your parents show commitment to each other?
5. What is your favorite part about your childhood?
6. What is your least favorite part about your childhood?
7. Tell me about a time you did not trust me. What could I have done better?
8. What can I do to improve your trust in me?
9. How are we similar?
10. How are we different?
11. What is your favorite memory about our relationship?
12. How have you grown in the past year?
13. How do you think I have grown in the past year?
14. How can we continue to improve our relationship?
15. Can you tell me about a time you remember us handling conflict well?
16. What do you understand about me that you did not understand in the beginning?
17. What is your favorite way to make up after a disagreement?
18. Growing up, how did your family resolve conflict?
19. How can I turn you on?
20. How do you budget your money?
21. What were your parents’ attitudes about money?
22. How did finances impact you as a child?
23. What was your favorite vacation as a child?
24. What was your first job like?
25. What was your least favorite job? Why?
26. What does money mean to you?
27. How were birthdays celebrated when you were a child?
28. How did your parents show you they were proud of you?
29. What did you learn from your parents about money?
30. What is your most painful memory about money?
31. What is your favorite memory about money?
32. Despite this pandemic, what are five things you are grateful for right now?
33. What are your top three priorities in life?
34. What does your ideal family look like?
35. What did your parents do for a living when you were a child?
36. In what ways did your parents maintain closeness after having children?
37. If we had children, what qualities of mine would you want them to have?
38. What is an adventure we can plan for the future?
39. When do you have the most fun with me?
40. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done?
41. What are your top three bucket list items?
42. What are you most excited about right now?
43. How can we make dinnertime more special?
44. What is your favorite and least favorite part of today?
45. What is your favorite holiday and why? Can you guess mine?
46. How do you like to be taken care of when you are sick?
47. What do you consider your best accomplishment?
48. How would you like to grow spiritually?
49. What were some of your dreams as a child?
50. If you could choose a new career, what would it be?
51. What is your favorite part about your job? Least favorite?
52. Which decade of your life would you like to re-do and why?
53. How are you feeling now about being a mother or father?
54. If you could wake up tomorrow with three new skills, what would they be and why?
55. What are your biggest worries about the future?
56. What is your proudest moment in history?
57. If you could be a superstar in any sport, what would it be? Why?
58. Who do you consider your closest relative? Why?
59. Which country would you like to explore next?
60. Who was your childhood hero?
61. What do you worry about the most?
62. If you could be a genius in any art form, which would you choose?
63. What’s your mom’s best quality?
64. What’s your dad’s best quality?
65. What gets you fired up?
66. What makes a good life?
67. What would you change about your past?
68. Who is your biggest inspiration?
69. When do you feel most alive?
70. Which book impacted you the most?
71. What is your favorite thing about YOU?
72. What irrational fears do you have?
73. What is the hardest lesson you have learned?
74. What things are you self-conscious about?
75. What is your favorite scent? Why?
76. What are three things I do not know about you?
77. What is the best compliment I have ever given you?
78. What do you like most about your family?
79. What was your biggest mistake?
80. What was your favorite gift? Why?
81. If you were writing an autobiography, what would some of the chapters be called?
82. What do you think about when you are alone?
83. Which mistake do you repeat the most?
84. If you could have a phone call with yourself at any point in your past, when would you call and what would you say?
85. If you could stay any age forever, which age would you pick?
86. What challenging thing are you working through?
87. What is something I can do tomorrow that will improve your day?
88. What are some goals that you have for us?
89. What are three things I do that you could not live without?
90. What does a perfect day look like?
91. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
92. What is your life story consolidated into five minutes?
93. What do you value most in a friendship?
94. What is an embarrassing story about yourself?
95. What was your first impression of me?
96. What is something that you are scared to ask me, but you would like to know?
97. What is your favorite non-physical quality about me?
98. What is your favorite way to receive affection?
99. When have you been really vulnerable?
100. What is your love language?
If the pandemic has added unwanted strain to your relationship, couples therapy can help. Contact us today to learn more.