Anxiety Relief Strategies
WRITTEN BY STEFF BRAND, M.S., LPC
When clients show symptoms of anxiety, my immediate reaction is to let them know that they are not alone. I normalize the heck out of any shame or confusion and commend them for listening to their bodies. It can be hard getting the little bit of help they need. Anxiety is a lot more common than most people think. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United States. This means about 18 percent of our population that’s 18 years or older. Woah. That makes anxiety the most common mental illness in this country.
Where Does Anxiety Come From?
Research tells us that a mix of nature and nurture influences the impact anxiety can have on your life. Anxiety tends to run in the family, so your genetics play a big part in the development. We have also learned that anxiety is very influenced by trauma. Grief, loss, and abuse are well-known examples of traumatic experiences. However, trauma is complicated, and sometimes it can manifest in less obvious ways. When someone presents with symptoms of anxiety but is unable to identify any past trauma, we do some digging during anxiety therapy and often find examples that have been written off as “not bad enough.”
Some of those examples include:
Your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend moving on with someone else
A teacher assigning a bad grade when you worked very hard
A boss telling you that your work looks “embarrassing”
Moving to a different city and having to make new friends
Exposure to a high-stress work environment
Your parents telling you to be happy and stop crying
A coworker calling out your mistake in front of a group
Your parents continuously fighting but staying married
Being in a major or minor car accident
Witnessing or listening to a friend’s traumatic experience
Being excluded and finding out on social media
Listening to school violence on the news
Your mom commenting on your body type
Canceled in-person classes due to health concerns
The list goes on and on. As I said, trauma is complicated and difficult to face. Your nervous system likes to feel safe, so we tend to label these events as “not that bad.” This way, we can avoid dealing with them altogether. Avoidance feels much safer than rejection, embarrassment, and heartbreak. This is why I applaud clients that are curious about their anxiety and listen to the messages of their body. Watching clients finally make connections and find clarity in the therapeutic space is, by far, the best part of my job.
How to Manage Anxiety
While it is very helpful to understand the root of your anxiety, identifying your triggers does not solve the problem. Anxiety is not likely to disappear. But, this introspective work allows you to better control symptoms when they arise. Here are some ideas that can help with day-to-day management. No single strategy will work for everyone. As a result, you will need to use the trial and error method to determine what is most effective for you.
Track your Anxiety
A common first way to observe thinking patterns is to write them down. When you feel anxious, make a list of what else is happening. Some people like to record these reflections in a journal throughout the day. Some prefer to keep a log on their phone to avoid forgetting their journal or having to explain the exercise to others. At times, people will say they do not have time to do this throughout the day. If this is you, try allocating ten minutes before bed and record what you can remember being difficult. This exercise does not have to be a major time commitment. Use the five W’s structure (who, what, where, when, and why) to quickly record contributions to anxious feelings. Look for patterns in the different entries. Anxiety therapists are experts at identifying triggers; ask yours for help, if needed.
Visualize the New You
Imagine how much less exhausting your life would be if you did not have anxiety. What could you stop avoiding? How would your relationships change? What would socialization look like? What fears would you be able to face? Find a comfy spot and journal the differences that would occur if you could poof away your anxiety. What changes can you make to get closer to this vision today?
Practice Mindfulness
When we are mindful, we are aware of the present moment without judgment. We can reduce our suffering by eliminating our worrying time. Being present in the moment is difficult, but the more you practice, the easier the skill becomes. Think of it like doing the splits. No one can perform this skill on the first try. It takes weeks, and sometimes months, of stretching to gain the required flexibility to do the splits. At the same time, you need to train your brain to be present. Try pretending to be a fly on the wall. A fly cannot understand what you are feeling, it can only understand what you are doing. Focus on your actions without defining them as good or bad. You will likely get distracted and the judgments will roll. When this happens, pull yourself back to focus. Try to exercise your mind this way for at least a couple of minutes each day.
Use a Progressive Muscle Relaxation Technique
Anxiety does not control our thinking. It can also show up in the form of physical strain and muscle tension. This is managed by regularly tensing and relaxing each muscle group. Try tensing your muscles for 5 to 10 seconds at a time. Do not hurt yourself by completely tensing your muscles. Instead, aim for 75 percent muscle tension. Relax for about 15 seconds between each movement. Notice the differences in your body between tension and relaxation. Practice this in phases with your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, jaw, face, stomach, legs, and feet. Be curious about the areas of your body where you hold onto the most stress. You may want to spend more time on those target areas.
Try the Color Breathing Exercise
Breathing exercises help manage stress, regulate emotions, and even reduce blood pressure. This exercise promotes calmness and relaxation through abdominal breathing and visualization. With this, you choose two colors. Pick one that you associate with peace and tranquility. Pick one that reminds you of chaos and anxiety. Find a safe space where you can close your eyes and focus on your breathing. As you breathe in deep, imagine the peaceful color washing off your entire body. Picture it entering your lungs and gravitating towards the parts of your body that need it most. Hold this breath for a few seconds. When you exhale, visualize your color that represents anxiety completely leaving your body. Try this cycle a few times and see how you feel. I have had clients do this exercise in their car at the end of their workday. It serves as a symbolic transition before going home to their families.
Incorporate Positive Reinforcement
It can be hard to shake the habitual patterns we develop over time. We get comfortable and normalize our stress, so changes in thinking require serious motivation. When working with kids, we often use stickers and prizes to track progress and motivate them to change behavior. With adults, this same idea can work, but we need to get creative and be intentional with our choice of reward. Think about the activities that you enjoy or the items you would like to have. Make a list of goals for your anxiety and assign an appropriate reward for meeting the goals each week. Be sure to set specific, attainable goals and have fun choosing your special treat.
A Very Important Final Reminder
You are human and living a stress-free life is an impossible goal. You will experience many hard emotions throughout your life. On some days, your anxiety will be better than others. Progress is rarely linear, so even if you are fully committed to overcoming your anxiety, you will likely find yourself falling back into old habits at times. That is OK. Celebrate the small victories and keep going.
Begin Anxiety Treatment in Houston, TX
Anxiety is a part of everyday life, but it doesn’t have to control it. An anxiety therapist can provide the support you deserve from our Houston, TX-based counseling practice. To start your therapy journey, follow these steps:
Contact our counseling practice to set up a free consultation
Meet with a caring anxiety therapist
Begin anxiety treatment and start enjoying a calmer life