Developmental Regression in Children During the COVID Pandemic

Written by Michele Kamerman, M.A., LPC, RPT

Registered Play Therapist

Since life changed in March, you may have noticed your child having more potty accidents, thumb sucking, or drinking from a bottle when your child has not done these things in years.  Your child may also have more tantrums and appear clingy as well.  It can feel confusing as a parent as to why this is happening and what to do about it.

This developmental regression is a common reaction to stress.  If there has been a recent change in the child’s life, such a relative passing or a car accident for example, children will often react by moving backwards.  A child’s experience during COVID could also be traumatic for him/her.  Your child used to go to school and socialize, play sports and participate in activities, and go bike riding with friends on the weekends.  Your child’s world has been rocked by COVID.  The world they knew is now different.  Your child is now home all the time and not socializing. Your child now has to wear a mask to leave the house. Your child now feels anxious to be around others because they could get sick.  This trauma has sent most children (and adults!) into survival mode, which leads to regression and searching for ways to cope. 

How should parents handle their child’s regression? Children will regress when they don’t have the verbal skills to express their feelings.  It’s important to validate their feelings and let them know everyone is experiencing change right now.  Children want to feel understood.  Consequences or shaming for the regression will only affect your child negatively and may take longer for your child to work through their trauma.  It’s also helpful to take your child’s lead, and not try to control their behavior.  Children need time for their world to feel ok again.  Be patient.  It may be helpful to set a “talk time” with your child to provide them with time to discuss their feelings and experiences.  Last, try to create a new normal with your child such as new routines and structure, as well as connecting with friends and family virtually.  This will help prevent and treat regression.

If you are concerned that your child is struggling to cope, contact us today for a free consultation for child counseling.