Ever had an argument or conversation with a significant other where you walked away thinking, “That conversation did not start or end like I anticipated!”  I think most people can relate to this experience.  One of the most helpful things that I have found for couple is to start the conversation in a better, less defensive way so that the conversation continues to be more open and non-judgmental.  Dr. John Gottman has perfected the method for couples to begin a conversation in a non-defensive manner called softened start-ups.