How to Care for Your Mental Health as You Go Through a Divorce
Written by Amy Rollo, M.A., LSSP, LPA, LPC-S
Psychotherapist and Owner, Heights Family Counseling
Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful and painful experiences one can go through. Yet, it’s also such a common experience with about 50 % of marriages ending in divorce. Divorce is a life transition that feels a bit like grief. You grieve the marriage you hoped for, the life that you planned for, the significant other that you fell in love with, and the person you were while married. In an instant, life is flipped upside down. And that is just the emotional grief and stress. Many people also have to adjust for differences in income, the standard of living, spending less time with their kids, and losing friend groups. In sum, there is a reason this is a stressful and painful time.
JOURNAL
The first step in caring for yourself during a divorce is to acknowledge all of the pain above. Many try to just keep going, thinking their resiliency equals strength. While in some ways, the movement through the painful times is positive, it can backfire if you don’t take the time to acknowledge your emotions. One of the first things I have clients do when going through a divorce is to journal daily. Write about your journey, make sure to identify the emotions, and process them on paper. I find it is helpful to go back and read certain entries to show how far you have come. It is a great source of release and cathartic experience for many.
SUPPORT GROUP
Find a support group. Find people who get what you are going through or care enough to try and understand it. These people will take you golfing on the first Saturday away from your kids or bring ice cream when you have been crying all day. They are the people who show up for you when you need them most. If it’s hard to find support groups think about Facebook groups or church groups. Basically anywhere you can find someone to lean on.
GO TO COUNSELING
This might seem like a no-brainer but go to divorce therapy. You are going to feel so many emotions all at once or at different times. You might feel disoriented or like you don’t even know who you are anymore. Counseling is a perfect place to grieve, process feelings, and find meaning, purpose, and values. If you have a hard time finding a good fit, call around and ask for a consultation. Read their bios and see who feels like you would connect with them.
Start a healthy habit. Everything is harder and more disorienting when going through a divorce. You might be screaming that you don’t have the capacity for more responsibilities. Yet you do. You are worth investing in the time. Start a new exercise class, learn a skill, start meditating. Do something that shows you value yourself. You will learn that you need this more than you ever thought.
Going through a divorce is one of the hardest life transitions. Take care of yourself. Know it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to have bad days. And it’s important to care for yourself extra during this time.
Consider Divorce Therapy:
If you're struggling, depression treatment is a great way to heal and discover new coping skills. A skilled therapist can help you find meaning, purpose, improve mood, and achieve goals. At Heights Family Counseling, we offer online and in-person counseling. So, you feel comfortable receiving services during the pandemic. You can work with a therapist from the comfort of your surroundings at a time that works well for you.
Begin Counseling in Houston, TX:
Our team of skilled therapists is passionate about helping you build the life you want. We are value-driven and help people navigate life to make sense of their story. Together, we ensure they are creating meaning and purpose in their lives. We would love to work with you. Follow these steps to begin counseling in Houston, TX, or online therapy in Texas:
1. Contact our counseling clinic to set up a free phone consultation
2. Meet with one of our therapists
3. Begin divorce therapy