An Enneagram Guide for Self-Care: Type 7
WRITTEN BY STEFF BRAND, M.S., LPC, NCC, CCATP
Welcome to part 7 of this blog series thank you for following along! If you are just arriving and have not already identified your Enneagram type, I strongly recommend going back and also reading about Type 1, Type 2, Type 3 and Type 4, Type 5 and Type 6. To recap, I will be explaining all 9 Enneagram types and sharing personality specific self-care recommendations for each type. Many of these self-care ideas have been pulled from Christina S. Wilcox’s book, Take Care of Your Type. If these blogs resonate with you, you will LOVE her work. Understanding the different personality types will arm you with knowledge to better replenish your unique emotional needs. It will also help you nurture and show empathy towards your partner’s needs. When trying to determine your type, it might be helpful to remember that you probably have a little bit of each type inside of you. The core desires, fears, and motivations that surface the most emotion as you read them will determine your dominant type.
In this blog, we are moving on to Type 7…
Type 7: The Enthusiast
Enthusiasts are those friends that rally everyone to plan the Euro trip and are willing to take the vacation alone, if needed. They love adventure and struggle with major FOMO on potential opportunities, experiences, and relationships. They have a strong desire to explore different places and meet new people and do not usually show anxiety around change. If something gets in the way of their lifestyle or what they hope to accomplish, they are prepared to deliver an exit strategy and make choices that better meet their needs. Enthusiasts are charismatic and make great friends as long as you can tolerate them pushing you outside of your comfort zone.
Type 7s will ensure their calendars are full. They are more willing to try something new than engage in repetitive tasks, even if the latter would be more beneficial or realistic. They have no problem late canceling plans if a better opportunity comes along. It is not that they don’t care, but they prioritize personal freedom and happiness above all else. They believe taking risks and experiencing the world to its fullest is what life is all about. Enthusiasts make great leaders; they are innovative and brainstorming creative ideas make them feel purposeful and happy. However, since their mind is moving so quickly, they can struggle with following through on ideas. In work environments, they benefit most from working with teams that can help with execution.
Type 7s also tend to be the class clowns. They are good at making light of situations and relieving others’ negative moods. If the room feels too intense, they feel compelled to take action and make sure people are in good spirits. In a lot of ways, this lightheartedness is good and very much needed, but it can also hinder Enthusiasts’ ability to show other emotions. Type 7s have normalized being the “happy” one and fear being a disappointment to others if this changes.
Self-Care Recommendations:
Self-affirm with the words, “I will be taken care of.”
Pursue a hobby for regularity, not an adrenaline rush.
Slow your roll. Allow time for discomfort to subside before jumping into your next relationship, job, or opportunity.
Face sadness head-on. Negative experiences allow us to experience healing and growth. Undergoing a spectrum of emotions allows you to see that you can temporarily feel pain and not get stuck in it.
Practice active listening. Even though every bone in your body says, “avoid depressing conversations,” listening to others’ tough stories can allow you to develop deeper empathy and connect with the people in your life in a more meaningful way.
Share your positive AND negative experiences with others. If it feels too hard, start by journaling them in private.
Listen to feedback from the people affected by your spontaneous choices. Allow others to slow you down.
Reflect on times when you have managed conflict instead of avoided it.
Buy a planner or download one on your phone. Start a shared calendar with your partner. You can still be your spontaneous self but block out time for your previous commitments first.
RSVP to the event. Just choose yes or no so the host can finish planning arrangements.
Frown. Let go of the pressure you have absorbed over time and let your smile have a day off. You are not loved solely because you bring laughter and light; you are loved for all the pieces of you.
Say “no” to the third weekend getaway of the month so you can say “yes” to replenishing your unfulfilled needs. Take some time to rest, to clean your living space, and to be present in your relationships.
Meditate. Get quiet and spend some time with only yourself for a little bit each day. As scary as it might be, try to be silent with your thoughts and emotions about your current chapter in life.
Repeat after me, “my sadness is not a burden to others.”
Meet with a therapist that can help you touch pain in a safe way. Processing and healing your past and previous “stuck” feelings might just be the missing puzzle piece for true joy and satisfaction.
Include others in your adventures. It is a way to consider others’ needs and preferences more while still satisfying your need to roam and explore.
Put down roots. Buy a house. Sign a contract. Request a performance plan to gain a promotion. Create an annual tradition with friends. Start small, if needed, but start challenging your fear of staying in one place.
Practice minimalism.
Use a gratitude journal to remind yourself that everything you have and everyone you love is enough for you in this moment. The desire for more can be a dangerous, never-ending pursuit.
Why Self-Care is Important for a Type 7
Type 7s are terrified of being without opportunity and adventure and their biggest fear is being “trapped” or stuck in pain. They are willing to compromise relational and experiential steadiness to find what else is out there. Ironically, they desire a life rooted in deep relationships and passion, but they are unwilling to experience pain to achieve it. They are much more likely to abandon relationships due to possibility that it will not satisfy their greatest needs. Type 7s are high risk for living scattered and empty lives and need intentional self-care to achieve true purpose and identity. By facing their fears with negative emotions, Enthusiasts will be able to manage conflict, gain self-awareness, and become emotionally stronger, well-rounded individuals.
If your partner is a Type 7, allow them the freedom to dream. Their endless need for opportunity can be exhausting, but do not try to change their personality or they will run far and fast. Recognize the good intentions with them constantly concocting new ideas. They are pursuing a happier, more fulfilling life for you too. Allow your partner independence but also keep them grounded through accountability. If they want to start a business, help them draw up a business plan and document a list of preliminary goals.
If you feel unsure of what your Type 7 partner is feeling, it is likely that they are also unsure of their emotions. Enthusiasts are dreamers and doers, but they do not typically take time to analyze the reasoning behind their actions. Approach them with patience and empathy. Create a safe space for them to open up, and model what self-reflection looks like for you. Most importantly, take your partner seriously. Take time to learn about their passions. Believing in their ideas matters so much to them and being on their side will allow them to trust you and be vulnerable with the deeper stuff too.
SERVICES STEFF OFFERS AT HEIGHTS COUNSELING
Steff offers a variety of mental health services for kids, teens, and adults at our Houston Heights Therapy Clinic. Her mental health services include: child counseling, play therapy, adult therapy, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, therapy for stress and burnout, sex therapy, trauma treatment and EMDR, couples counseling, premarital counseling and counseling for life transitions. She also offers online therapy in Texas to meet your mental health needs when you can’t make it to our therapy clinic. To learn more, please contact our counseling office.