Using Literature to Initiate Conversations About Race with Kids
Written by Steff Brand, M.S., Nationally Certified Counselor, LPC-Intern
This message is for anyone that interacts with little ones, not just parents. Teachers, principals, babysitters, coaches, aunts, uncles, mentors of any kind, I am talking to you. Kids are always watching and judging your behaviors. They look to you for personal acceptance and guidance on how to treat others. They need you to validate their confusing experience and help regulate their scared and anxious emotions. When it comes to race, do not wait for kids to bring it up. Also, do not assume questions do not exist just because kids are not asking them. Yes, this topic can be uncomfortable; but if you are not talking about it, you are ignoring the issue. Your silence teaches kids that inequality in regard to race is not WORTH talking about and that is the problem.
Avoid trying to have perfect responses to your children’s questions. You are human, and it’s better to try and get it wrong than not try at all. Use this experience to educate kids on the importance of trying to understand hard topics. Expose them to culturally diverse content and teach them to always keep advocating for human rights. This is not a one time, check the box, type of conversation. You might not have all the answers but take that as an opportunity to learn with them.
Using children’s books is one of the most practical ways to start conversations related to past and current oppression, activism, and racial justice movements. Be intentional when choosing resources for classrooms, libraries, and bedtime story rotations. Keep trying to get it right.
Suggested Reading List
A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory (Ages 5 & up)
Belle, The Last Mule at Gee's Bend: A Civil Rights Story by Calvin Alexander Ramsey (Ages 5-8)
Black is a Rainbow Color by Angela Joy (Ages 4-8)
Coretta Scott by Ntozake Shange (Ages 4-9)
Crown: An Ode to the Fresh Cut by Derrick Barnes (Ages 3-10)
Dear Martin by Nic Stone (Ages 14-18)
Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson (Ages 5-8)
Hey Black Child by Useni Eugene Perkins (Ages 3-10)
I, Too, Am America by Langston Hughes (Ages 4-8)
Last Stop on Market Street by Matt De La Pena (Ages 3-5)
Love Will See You Through: Martin Luther King Jr.'s Six Guiding Beliefs (As Told by His Niece) by Angela Farris Watkins (Ages 6-11)
Malcolm X: The Boy Who Grew Up to Become Malcolm X by Ilyasah Shabazz (Ages 6-10)
March (Trilogy) by John Lewis, Andrew Aydin and Nate Powell (Ages 11-15)
Martin & Mahalia: His Words, Her Song by Andrea Davis Pinkney (Ages 7-10)
Memphis, Martin, and the Mountaintop: The Sanitation Strike of 1968 by Alice Faye Duncan and R. Gregory Christie (Ages 8-12)
My Brother Martin: A Sister Remembers Growing Up with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. by Christine Farris King (Ages 6-11)
My Daddy, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by Martin Luther King III (Ages 4-8)
Skin Like Mine by Latashia M. Perry (Ages 4-8)
Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi (Ages 13 & up)
The Book Itch: Freedom, Truth & Harlem’s Greatest Bookstore by Vaunda Micheaux Nelson (Ages 7-10)
The Rock and the River by Kekla Magoon (Ages 10-14)
The Stars Beneath Our Feet by David Barclay Moore (Ages 10-14)
Trombone Shorty by Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews (Ages 4-8)
We March by Shane Evans (Ages 0-4)
What if We Were All the Same by C.M. Harris (Ages 5-9)
X, A Novel by Ilyasah Shabazz and Kekla Magoon (Ages 14-18)
You Matter by Christian Robinson (Ages 4-8)
12 Rounds to Glory: The Story of Muhammad Ali by Charles R. Smith (Ages 10 & up)
And Don’t Stop Here
Keep in mind that education and conversation are important first steps but changed behavior that can be modeled for the next generation is the ultimate goal. Keep failing forward and continue to grow with your kids.
“Everyday behaviors of white parents also matter: when to lock the car doors, what conversations to have at the dinner table, what books & magazines to have around the house, how to react to news headlines, who to invite over for summer cookouts, whether and how to answer questions posed by kids about race, who parents are friends with themselves, when to roll one’s eyes, what media to consume, how to respond to overtly racist remarks made by Grandpa at a family dinner and where to spend leisure time.”
-Dr. Margaret A. Hagerman
At Heights Family Counseling, we offer play therapy services. Contact us today if you’d like to learn more.