Utilizing I Feel Statements

Ever had an argument or conversation with a significant other where you walked away thinking, “That conversation did not start or end like I anticipated!” I think most people can relate to this experience. One of the most helpful things that I have found for couple is to start the conversation in a better, less defensive way so that the conversation continues to be more open and non-judgmental. Dr. John Gottman has perfected the method for couples to begin a conversation in a non-defensive manner called softened start-ups.

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Coping with Relational Stress as the Holidays Approach

Y’all we are 9 weeks away from Christmas! When I heard this announcement on the radio earlier this week, my immediate thought was, “how is this even possible?” My next thought went directly to how much stress often comes with the holiday season. It can be easy to feed off stress, chaos, and frustration in all seasons of life, but somehow the holiday season often intensifies this experience for couples.

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Withholding Affection

Often, I work with couples who, by the time they find themselves in my office, have built a mountain of resentment towards one another. I have found that one of the things that helps in being able to process their resentment and move forward from it, is to talk about how two opposing truths can exist within the same emotional space. Meaning that: one can be disappointed and hurt by something their partner has said and/or done, and can also still love their partner (show them physical and emotional love).

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How to know when you are flooded

With the anniversary of Hurricane Harvey and the threat of Hurricane Florence on the East Coast, the major effects of flooding have been weighing on my mind lately. Did you know that you can become flooded, too?

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Speaking the Language of Love

Have you ever had the experience where you did something for your partner and then received no recognition for it? Did this experience then follow up with the thought, “I would have loved for them to do this same thing for me! Why are they not appreciating me or saying anything about it?” T

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Repair Attempts- A Predictor of Marriage Stability

On average most couples wait 6 years of feeling unhappy in the relationship before seeking help! By this time, negative conflict patterns have been established, and many couples look for the therapist to be a referee instead of a marriage therapist.

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Cultivating Intimacy without Sex

I want to talk about intimacy. When someone mentions intimacy within a relationship, most people immediately think sexual intimacy. However, intimacy is not just a sexual connection between partners. Intimacy is the connection and closeness that is cultivated and expressed between partners regardless of setting.

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How to Avoid Defensiveness

The most exciting thing for me about the therapy process is that it acknowledges the human condition of imperfection. We are all human, and by being human, it means we come with flaws. By seeking therapy, you are acknowledging this human condition, while also seeking self-compassion and self-acceptance, but also having a desire to work on one’s self.

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Stop Fixing and Start Connecting

I’ve been sharing some of my thoughts as they pop up the past week or two on the Heights Family Counseling Twitter: “Relax, you don’t need all the answers all at once. You’ll get there with time. ~Amy- my own self-soothing thoughts today” or “Just breathe. Everything is going to be okay. You got this; you've survived 100 % of bad days before. ~Amy- because sometimes we need to hear what our brain doesn't always tell us!”

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Lasting ways to connect with your partner this Valentine’s Day!

As Valentine’s Day soon approaches, the National Retail Federation expects that holiday spending will exceed $18.2 billion for the United States. This means that on average each individual will be spending around $135! If you are anything like me, this seems like a whooping number, especially when you take into consideration that this is likely being spent by two people in a relationship – that’s a total of $270! In light of this information, I wanted to share with you all some ways to connect with your partner that do not cost near this much money!

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Surviving Tough Times

Every marriage goes through rough times. In fact, Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading researchers on marital stability and divorce prediction, states that it is actually how you handle incompatibility that predicts marriage success not how compatibleyou are.

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