Welcome to part 7 of this blog series and thank you for following along! If you are just arriving and have not already identified your Enneagram type, I strongly recommend going back and also reading about Type 1, Type 2, Type 3 and Type 4, Type 5 and Type 6. To recap, I will be explaining all 9 Enneagram types and sharing personality specific self-care recommendations for each type. Many of these self-care ideas have been pulled from Christina S. Wilcox’s book, Take Care of Your Type.
Who else feels a bit of pressure and just freezes? I remember at the start of the pandemic, while the world was shutting down, I kept feeling paralyzed. Here I was the owner and decision-maker of my practice, and every decision felt overwhelming. This was different from my past self, who tended to work harder the more stressed I felt. However, the pandemic was different and brought out a different response. All of a sudden, every move and decision felt overwhelming. I caught myself escaping through binging Netflix, sharing a bottle of wine, or anything else that felt unproductive.
June’s highlighted position of the month is the Heavenly Hold. June is a time of celebration #HappyPride; thus, this month I am sharing an all-orientation-friendly position, that all can participate in!
“How are you doing,” I commonly ask clients, and the response is “I’m okay…” The okays are sounding different these days. Heavier. There is a lot of hope as of late. Vaccines have been a game changer for many, as many are able to re-enter society after a “lost” year. However, there is still a heaviness. I’ve been talking to lots of people lately and listening to what feels heavy right now and why feelings of depression might be lingering.
“I feel like we have all been walking around with high functioning depression this year.” I wrote this in a professional Facebook group in response to someone concerned about their employee’s performance and needing some compassion for their experience, and my phone started lighting up. Facebook “like” after “like” because so many people resonated with this statement. In truth, I did, too. 2020 and 2021 tested us. It took away many of the coping tools we have like social connection and vacations, while also providing more stress and struggles.
Think back to March 2020. Schools shut down, offices closed, restaurants providing to-go orders only, activities and parties canceled, and social isolation. Since then, we have found ourselves transitioning to a new normal. Virtual school and appointments, tons of hand sanitizer and Lysol spray, face masks, and continued social isolation. I never thought we would ever become used to our new way of life, but it has started to become comfortable to most people and many children.
Boundaries have recently become quite the vogue topic in many dating spheres. However, gay men often struggle setting, enforcing, and maintaining healthy boundaries in dating relationships. Why? Well, the answer is different for everyone. But often, individuals in the LGBTQ+ community have been so invalidated in social and familial relationships that when someone comes along who appears to be offering the very validation and connection we have been looking for, for so long, we are willing to do anything to make it work. That desperation leads to a dissolution of our much-needed boundaries, and eventually, self-respect.
May’s highlighted position of the month is the Clutch to Climax. While many have been vaccinated and life is now busy for many again (or has always been busy, just a different busy now), keep in mind healthy sex practices - please remain cognizant to wash your hands (and use the restroom) before and after a sexual experience! If it helps you both to feel more comfortable, start your shared sexual experience by taking a shower together. Remember that a sexual experience will release Oxytocin and other beneficial endorphins, which will help you and your partner(s) feel bonded to one another and release stress/tension. As I always recommend, begin this experience by doing some light stretching together to help avoid injuries and/or muscle cramps that might arise during a sexual experience (FYI – muscle cramps/injuries are the most common sexual injuries).
Welcome to part 6 of this blog series and thank you for following along! If you are just arriving and have not already identified your Enneagram type, I strongly recommend going back and also reading about Type 1, Type 2, Type 3 and Type 4, and Type 5. To recap, I will be explaining all 9 Enneagram types and sharing personality specific self-care recommendations for each type. Many of these self-care ideas have been pulled from Christina S. Wilcox’s book, Take Care of Your Type.
Dating is a stressful, confusing, frustrating, emotional, exhilarating, anxiety inducing, traumatic… (insert almost any adjective/emotion here) experience. In the unique world of gay dating, many aspects are even more convoluted and muddied. Most gay individuals struggle to navigate the waters of the dating scene, and many find themselves so disillusioned and hopeless from the process that they give up on finding the love that they have dreamed of for so long.
Couples are reporting spending more time together since the pandemic hit. But, they report feeling lonelier than ever. This quote feels truer than ever before, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” So, the question today is, why are we feeling so alone despite spending so much time together?
Welcome to part 5 of this blog series and thank you for following along! If you are just stumbling on this and have not already identified your Enneagram type, I strongly recommend going back and also reading about Type 1, Type 2, Type 3 and Type 4.
